IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

With the rise of ebooks comes a drop in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#rise #ebooks #drop #paper #books #people #step #trend
The advancement of technology has brought widespread changes in society; one of which is the proliferation of
e-
books
 at the expense of traditional hard copies.
While
 some say
this
 is a welcome breakthrough, others think
otherwise
. In
this
 essay, I will examine the pros and cons of
this
 development. Clearly, there are several demerits of
e-
books
.
Firstly
, unlike
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional paper
books
 which are heavy and burdensome, electronic
books
 are lightweight and portable.
Hence
,
instead
 of carrying multiple bulky
books
, we can conveniently take along an e-reader containing a huge volume of
books
.
Secondly
, digital
books
 are environmentally friendly as we do not need to cut down trees to print them
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
 traditional volumes.
This
 is because electronic
books
 come in digital formats.
Besides
,
e-
books
 are easily accessible regardless of time and space.
For example
, students and workers can consult reference
books
 or dictionaries even
while
 they are on a trip anywhere and at any time.
However
, we cannot ignore the drawbacks of
e-
books
. Primarily, it requires a special device or computer to download, store and read
e-
books
. Unlike the traditional ones, digital
books
also
 need an e-reader and a charger to keep that device running. Obviously, those who cannot afford a computer or e-reader cannot read electronic
books
.
Moreover
, experts have warned that continuous exposure to the screen can potentially impair vision. In a nutshell, though the popularity of
e-
books
 is soaring
as a result
 of its convenience and portability, there are some downsides that should not be
under looked
Verb problem
overlooked
show examples
.
Submitted by wowoo04066 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you have discussed both advantages and disadvantages of ebooks, expanding on each point with more depth and detail could strengthen your argument. Introduce a wider range of ideas and examples to support your points more thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on the flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use a variety of linking phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within that paragraph are related to it. Moreover, incorporating transitional phrases between paragraphs can help guide the reader more effectively through your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: