Some people believe that annual exams are best way of assessment while others believe that regular appraisals are better. Discuss advantage and disadvantage of both.

This
letter is being express my interest in
this
opportunity. I am highly motivated to
work
at
backbone
Capitalize word
Backbone
show examples
.
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as I am quite familiar with the subject, keen on innovation, and definitely support the idea, that
energy
can be transformed into money.
In addition
, I love to create, implement and develop IT products and I’m really good at it. The first reason why I am close to the topic of
energy
is that I have a technical education. The second reason is about
work
experience. I have done some scientific
work
related to
energy
, which included creating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
IT systems. The first one was about saving money for
energy
sources
due to
technological process optimization based on computing modelling. The next was “
Energy
saving: scientific, technical and economic aspects of ensuring
energy
security. The economic justification for the feasibility of introducing cogeneration plants and
energy
-saving water treatment technologies at food industry enterprises”. I
also
lead, working as a creator of the concept and ideology as well, the research project “
Energy
and Economic Passports of Railways”, related to the development of a new system for accounting for the costs of fuel and
energy
resources of railways, ensuring their transparency and controllability. I am passionate about delivering fast and reliable systems and services designed to suit the needs of our customers and consumers.
Late
Correct word choice
In recent
show examples
years I managed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
team of developers, analysts, designers, and DevOps
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
and worked as a
Product
Lead and
Product
Owner. I worked as a Solution Architect in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big company starting
her
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
digital transformation. As I can see, I can bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great value to the company and I
full
Add a missing verb
am full
show examples
of enthusiasm to do
this
.
Due to
my familiarity with business and system
analyzing
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
, ability to
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
quick
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, broad range mindset, and earned value management, I can easily create the best roadmap for the
product
, formulate the right requirements and show the benefits from implementation. (I presented my ideas and experience about requirements management at the PMI Business Analysis Conference, I was the only one from Europe as a speaker there and I have got
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great feedback). I’ve released many products,
WebApps
Correct word choice
and WebApps
show examples
as well,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
of them are still working and developing.
Additionally
, I have a good taste in design. Before I created the task for the designer, I created the user stories and simple landing. I am perfect at managing people and processes. I managed big projects, which were
implementing
Change the form of the verb
implemented
show examples
on the big territory in the different time zones, by some teams and subcontractors.
Depends
Wrong verb form
Depending
show examples
on
project
Add an article
the project
show examples
, I use different methodologies,
such
as Waterfall, Agile (Scrum, Kanban mostly), or combine them. Apart from team engagement and inspiration, I focus on our priorities to make sure that we meet our objectives on time and
budget
Change preposition
within budget
show examples
.
Besides
, I am good at
work
estimation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
evaluate
Wrong verb form
evaluating
show examples
team progress with different metrics.
Moreover
, I use metrics and
product
analysis to improve the
product
. I always
work
for the financial result.
Submitted by yarinka13 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are crucial for structuring your argument effectively. Consider starting with an introductory sentence that clearly states your stance on the topic and ending with a conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved by organizing your points more clearly. It's advisable to dedicate separate paragraphs to discussing the advantages and disadvantages of annual exams and regular appraisals respectively, making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Task Achievement
Your essay does not directly address the task of discussing the advantages and disadvantages of both annual exams and regular appraisals. It's essential that your response directly addresses the task prompt to achieve a higher task achievement score.
Task Achievement
While you provided some specific examples from your work experience, your essay would benefit from more clear and comprehensive ideas directly related to the merits and drawbacks of each assessment method. Try to incorporate more focused examples and explanations that relate directly to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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