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Band 6.5

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the most common means of
transport
 is the car. In great parts of the world, the situation has escalated to the point that the number of vehicles on the road is not sustainable anymore.
Therefore
, I agree that encouragement and
control
 over
this
 issue should be implemented both at a national and international level. In the next
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
 I will support
this
 view with a few arguments. People might be unsatisfied with these solutions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
alternative
forms
 of
transport
 can be more expensive than traditional ones.
While
this
 may be true, it is a weak argument if we consider State
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
. Indeed, often the government incentives these choices by making these options cheaper and more accessible for the citizens. In
this
 sense, I agree that the
use
 of
alternative
forms
 of
transport
 should be encouraged.
Furthermore
,
cars
 require a huge amount of oil, which is a non-renewable source of energy.
Consequently
, the more
cars
, the more oil is needed. As a matter of fact, maintaining oil as the principal energy source is not a sustainable option.
Moreover
, many studies demonstrate the link between the
use
 of non-renewable sources and the worsening of environmental-related issues,
such
 as climate change. Since many people are often not fully aware of the environmental consequences of their actions, the only way to improve the situation regarding the
use
 of
cars
 is to implement public policies to keep
this
 issue under
control
.
Therefore
, a solution to these problems can be to encourage the
use
 of
alternative
forms
 of
transport
 and to better
control
 the spread of
cars
 by introducing stricter rules. In conclusion, the high volume of
cars
 on the roads is not sustainable anymore and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the major consequences of
this
 issue are burdening the environment in many ways. Bearing
this
 in mind, it is essential that the government encourages
alternative
forms
 of
transport
 and that national and international laws are implemented to
control
this
 problem.
Submitted by 2001martinap on

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coherence cohesion
The argument is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader to follow your line of reasoning easily.
task-response
You have provided a complete response to the prompt, touching on all key aspects of the issue presented. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
task response
Your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively, which contributes to the overall effectiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
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