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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed. However, others believe that zoos can be helpful in protecting wildlife. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

In recent years, the existence of
zoos
Use synonyms
 has become a controversial topic.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that keeping
animals
Use synonyms
 in captivity is cruel and unnatural, others believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in protecting endangered species and educating the public. In my opinion,
although
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 traditional
zoos
Use synonyms
 often mistreat
animals
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,
modern
Punctuation problem
modern,
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 well-managed wildlife parks can significantly contribute to conservation. On the one hand, many people consider
zoos
Use synonyms
 to be unethical institutions.
Animals
Use synonyms
 that are locked in cages often suffer from stress, boredom, and health issues
due to
Linking Words
 limited space and the lack of natural stimulation.
For instance
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, studies have shown that elephants and big cats in captivity develop repetitive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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such
Linking Words
 as pacing or rocking, which indicate psychological distress.
Furthermore
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, critics argue that
animals
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 are displayed mainly for entertainment and profit rather than for education or protection. From
this
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 point of view, keeping wild creatures in artificial environments violates their basic rights to freedom and natural living conditions.
On the other hand
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, supporters of
zoos
Use synonyms
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
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 their positive impact on wildlife preservation. Many modern
zoos
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 participate in international breeding programs for endangered species, helping to prevent their extinction.
For example
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, the successful reintroduction of the Arabian oryx and the giant panda into the wild was possible thanks to
such
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 programs.
Additionally
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,
zoos
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 provide valuable opportunities for people, especially children, to learn about
animals
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 and the importance of biodiversity.
This
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 awareness can inspire future generations to take part in conservation efforts. In conclusion,
while
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 I agree that poorly managed
zoos
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 can be harmful and inhumane, I believe that when operated responsibly,
zoos
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 can serve as safe shelters and
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 for research and education. The key is to transform traditional
zoos
Use synonyms
 into conservation-focused sanctuaries rather than places of entertainment.

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improvement
State both sides first and then your own view clearly at the end. Use simple link words to show how ideas are linked.
language
Keep each idea short. Use short sentences and common words.
structure
Add a short final line that restates your view.
content
Clear view on the topic.
support
Good use of examples to back the idea.
balance
Balanced talk on both sides.
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