Some people believe that entering the workplace after school is far more beneficial than studying at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, some individuals argue that going a work after completion of an academy is more beneficial than studying at a college.
While
individual preferences play a significant role in this
decision, there are compelling reasons to consider studying at university
. I believe that studying at a university
offers significant advantages. In this
essay, I will explain this
issue.
On the one hand, studying at a university
provides several benefits to the students
. These advantages include a high level of education, a better job perspective, higher earning potential and other perks. Moreover
, these universities may be located internationally so students
may have the opportunity to relocate to overseas branches.
For instance
, Manipal Academy of Higher Education has student exchange programmes in which they send selected students
abroad yearly for personal development and enhancing skills. In other words
, they will make excellent future progress and have chances to learn new things that might help them.
On the other hand
, students
who go to work instead
of going to university
have more chances to be stuck at one job only because they do not have any extra skills and degrees due to
which they did not get any promotion. This
stagnation will have more bad effects than they can realise.
To sum up
, universities offer higher earning potential, career advancement and opportunities to improve skills. These benefits are not attainable if some drop the idea of going to university
and starting a job immediately after school.Submitted by vivek6909127 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, to improve the logical structure, consider organizing your body paragraphs more effectively. For example, each paragraph should discuss one main idea and follow a clear pattern: topic sentence, explanation, example, and conclusion.
task achievement
In terms of task response, you address the question well by discussing both sides of the argument and giving your own opinion. However, you need to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, there is some repetition in your sentences which can make the essay less engaging. Try varying your sentence structures and employing more complex grammar to improve the fluency and readability of your essay.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, providing a clear framework for your essay.
task response
You have successfully discussed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the task.
task response
Including an example such as the Manipal Academy of Higher Education adds credibility to your arguments. Ensure you provide more specific examples throughout your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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