Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are those
believe
that shopping nowadays is more convenient Correct pronoun usage
who believe
due to
more advanced technology
, while
there are some not agreeing arguments for several reasons.
Nowadays, advanced technology
plays an important role model for people
in daily life. First,
online purchasing can be beneficial for various reasons. It effectively brings convenience and fast-track the service to the customers, resulting in up-to-date trends. Due to
increasing numbers of buyers possibly spend time on their mobile phone
approximately 6 to 8 hours. A very good example is the Amazon Application, the app has been improved significantly under technological innovation whether advertisements or promotions. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Moreover
, people
's behaviour will decrease to the easy process without going to the front store or picking up the items or products purchased as effectively as possible.
In addition
, some claim that a variety of technologies could not only make easier shopping but also
take benefits in potential solutions. For example
, an electrical appliances in our house. As a result
, the facilities
tools are Change noun form
facility's
facilities'
daptive
to having innovative involvement properly. These advantages effectively include Correct your spelling
adaptive
adapting
an
intelligent items Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
as mobile phones, microwaves and laundry machines. Therefore
, these home appliances will enable people
to have a
convenience in housework. Remove the article
apply
On the contrary
, it affects human labour, as an automatization, it will replace the workers. It provides various services
options and Change the noun form
service
long lasting
quality.
In summary, Add a hyphen
long-lasting
adapting
new Correct your spelling
adopting
technology
built the convenience and advancement of shopping, it contributes to other factors. However
, I belive
that individuals and authorities should not stop developing and integrating Correct your spelling
believe
system
between Fix the agreement mistake
systems
technology
and modernization, as it will bring more easier outcomes to the people
.Submitted by tuhamisali0504 on
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Task Response
To enhance task response, make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Although your essay discusses technology's role in shopping and mentions some opposing views, greater emphasis on elaborating both views distinctly and a clearer, more in-depth statement of your own opinion could strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on presenting your ideas in a more organized manner. While your essay progresses from one idea to another, clearer paragraphing that separates contrasting views and better transitions could enhance readability. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are directly related to that main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, revisiting the structure of introduction and conclusion to more clearly state the essay's topic and summarize the discussion can help make your argument more convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?