Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the digital era, an increasingly accessible and prevalent technology means that a rising number of employees and students are working and studying from home.
This
essay attempts to shed light on the merits and demerits of this
tendency before concluding that the former is more significant.
On the one
hand, it is understandable that working and studying online could be disadvantageous to certain extents. First and foremost, it could negatively affect to individual's performance. For example
, with the scarcity of interacting and discussing with colleagues, workers might feel lonely and isolated, which could decrease their productivity and efficiency. Furthermore
, this
trend might result in poor health conditions. This
is because looking at electronic screens and sitting in one
place for a long time leads people to have sedentary habits. As a result
, numerous individuals could be short-sighted, and obese.
On the one
hand, there are a host of compelling reasons why as to I am convinced that studying and working without travelling might bring more profound benefits. One
rationale is that it could improve the environment. To be more specific, if citizens did not need to go to schools or workplaces, they would not use transportation, which could decrease the fumes and smog released into the air as well as
prevent people from respiratory issues. Another justification is that communication technology could raise the quality of residents' lives in distant areas. For example
, by using smartphones and laptops, pupils could easily access and enrol in online courses around the world, thereby not only allowing them to acquire more lessons and knowledge but also
enhancing their competency to find a decent job.
In conclusion, while
it is irrefutable that the ubiquity of remote studying and working has some drawbacks in certain facets, I would contend that the upsides of this
trend provide more positive values.Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on
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task achievement
Ensure your essay addresses both sides of the argument before stating your own view. This has been done well in your essay, but try to be more explicit about how each point supports your conclusion.
task achievement
Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that directly responds to the question, stating whether you believe the development is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a range of cohesive devices appropriately throughout your essay to link ideas and paragraphs. However, avoid overusing them and ensure they enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
When providing examples, specific instances or personal experiences would add more weight to your argument. Try to include more detailed examples to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
The occasional grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrases slightly hinder the readability. Proofreading for grammatical precision and clarity of expression would improve the overall quality.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?