Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individuals consider that there are different ways to achieve
success
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
while
some
people
think that
money
and appearance are two factors affecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's
success
.
This
writer is of the opinion humans can reach
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
peak of their
career
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careers
show examples
when they work hard and have determination. There is no doubt there are
severak
Correct your spelling
several
reasons why finance and physical beauty are critical contributors to
win
Wrong verb form
winning
show examples
in life.
This
is because
money
enable
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enables
show examples
individuals
reaching
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to reach
show examples
their deep desires like power and fame.
For example
, if
people
have a great deal of wealth, they have countless opportunities to progress rapidly in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Furthermore
, personal appearance is one of the crucial factors impacting achievement.
However
, some individuals believe
hard-working
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hard work
show examples
and
will power
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willpower
show examples
are necessary features which ensure victory in the field.
This
is
due to
hard work
helps
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
people
gain some valuable experiences in aspects of life.
Additionally
, determination
give
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gives
show examples
us the motivation to set up goals which become the foundation of
success
.
As a result
,
this
is an essential skill to allow
people
overcome
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to overcome
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complex problems in all situations. From
this
writer's experience,
diligent
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diligence
show examples
and resolution are two personalities
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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be lasting
Wrong verb form
last
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with time in each person
,
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apply
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so that
success
from self is
enduring
Correct quantifier usage
more enduring
show examples
than fame and fortune.
This
believe
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belief
show examples
is
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
on knowledge and skills is a long accumulation in various places or situations. One example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
topic is after promotion by
money
and fame some
people
have a shock reduction by
boss
Add an article
a boss
the boss
show examples
who is a righteous person. Clearly,
this
essay has shown that
although
money
and personal appearance have an influence on achievement.
However
, gaining
success
by self is the best regards with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.

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Introduction Improvement
Start by clearly introducing both viewpoints discussed in the essay, setting a solid ground for your argument. Make sure your introduction captures the essence of the essay topic and your stance on it.
Logical Structure
Work on enhancing the logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is developed and explained. Use linking phrases to smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Use of Examples
Support your arguments with more specific, real-world examples. This strengthens your essay by demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic. Try to use examples that are directly related to the points you are making.
Conclusion Improvement
In your conclusion, restate your opinion more assertively, summarizing how it is supported by the arguments you've presented. Make sure your conclusion ties all the essay's points together cohesively.
Task Response
For task achievement, focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure you discuss both viewpoints and then clearly state and support your own opinion. Each paragraph should contribute directly to this goal.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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