Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals consider that there are different ways to achieve
success
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in their
life
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lives
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,
while
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some
people
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think that
money
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and appearance are two factors affecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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's
success
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.
This
Linking Words
writer is of the opinion humans can reach
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
peak of their
career
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careers
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when they work hard and have determination. There is no doubt there are
severak
Correct your spelling
several
reasons why finance and physical beauty are critical contributors to
win
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winning
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in life.
This
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is because
money
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enable
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enables
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individuals
reaching
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to reach
show examples
their deep desires like power and fame.
For example
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, if
people
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have a great deal of wealth, they have countless opportunities to progress rapidly in their
career
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careers
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, personal appearance is one of the crucial factors impacting achievement.
However
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, some individuals believe
hard-working
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hard work
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and
will power
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willpower
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are necessary features which ensure victory in the field.
This
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is
due to
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hard work
helps
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helping
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people
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gain some valuable experiences in aspects of life.
Additionally
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, determination
give
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gives
show examples
us the motivation to set up goals which become the foundation of
success
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.
As a result
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,
this
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is an essential skill to allow
people
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overcome
Fix the infinitive
to overcome
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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complex problems in all situations. From
this
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writer's experience,
diligent
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diligence
show examples
and resolution are two personalities
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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be lasting
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last
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with time in each person
,
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apply
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so that
success
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from self is
enduring
Correct quantifier usage
more enduring
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than fame and fortune.
This
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believe
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belief
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is
base
Wrong verb form
based
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on knowledge and skills is a long accumulation in various places or situations. One example
for
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of
show examples
this
Linking Words
topic is after promotion by
money
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and fame some
people
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have a shock reduction by
boss
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a boss
the boss
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who is a righteous person. Clearly,
this
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essay has shown that
although
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money
Use synonyms
and personal appearance have an influence on achievement.
However
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, gaining
success
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by self is the best regards with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
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Introduction Improvement
Start by clearly introducing both viewpoints discussed in the essay, setting a solid ground for your argument. Make sure your introduction captures the essence of the essay topic and your stance on it.
Logical Structure
Work on enhancing the logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is developed and explained. Use linking phrases to smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Use of Examples
Support your arguments with more specific, real-world examples. This strengthens your essay by demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic. Try to use examples that are directly related to the points you are making.
Conclusion Improvement
In your conclusion, restate your opinion more assertively, summarizing how it is supported by the arguments you've presented. Make sure your conclusion ties all the essay's points together cohesively.
Task Response
For task achievement, focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure you discuss both viewpoints and then clearly state and support your own opinion. Each paragraph should contribute directly to this goal.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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