Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

Many individuals consider that there are different ways to achieve

success

in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

while

some

people

think that

money

and appearance are two factors affecting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

success

This

writer is of the opinion humans can reach

Correct article usage

the

show examples

peak of their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

when they work hard and have determination. There is no doubt there are

severak

Correct your spelling

several

reasons why finance and physical beauty are critical contributors to

win

Wrong verb form

winning

show examples

in life.

This

is because

money

enable

Change the verb form

enables

show examples

individuals

reaching

Change the verb form

to reach

show examples

their deep desires like power and fame.

For example

, if

people

have a great deal of wealth, they have countless opportunities to progress rapidly in their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Furthermore

, personal appearance is one of the crucial factors impacting achievement.

However

, some individuals believe

hard-working

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hard work

show examples

and

will power

Correct your spelling

willpower

show examples

are necessary features which ensure victory in the field.

This

due to

hard work

helps

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

people

gain some valuable experiences in aspects of life.

Additionally

, determination

give

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gives

show examples

us the motivation to set up goals which become the foundation of

success

As a result

this

is an essential skill to allow

people

overcome

Fix the infinitive

to overcome

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

complex problems in all situations. From

this

writer's experience,

diligent

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diligence

show examples

and resolution are two personalities

will

Correct pronoun usage

that will

show examples

be lasting

Wrong verb form

last

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with time in each person

Remove the comma

apply

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so that

success

from self is

enduring

Correct quantifier usage

more enduring

show examples

than fame and fortune.

This

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

base

Wrong verb form

based

show examples

on knowledge and skills is a long accumulation in various places or situations. One example

for

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show examples

this

topic is after promotion by

money

and fame some

people

have a shock reduction by

boss

Add an article

a boss

the boss

show examples

who is a righteous person. Clearly,

this

essay has shown that

although

money

and personal appearance have an influence on achievement.

However

, gaining

success

by self is the best regards with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

Submitted by [email protected] on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Introduction Improvement

Start by clearly introducing both viewpoints discussed in the essay, setting a solid ground for your argument. Make sure your introduction captures the essence of the essay topic and your stance on it.

Logical Structure

Work on enhancing the logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is developed and explained. Use linking phrases to smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Use of Examples

Support your arguments with more specific, real-world examples. This strengthens your essay by demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic. Try to use examples that are directly related to the points you are making.

Conclusion Improvement

In your conclusion, restate your opinion more assertively, summarizing how it is supported by the arguments you've presented. Make sure your conclusion ties all the essay's points together cohesively.

Task Response

For task achievement, focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure you discuss both viewpoints and then clearly state and support your own opinion. Each paragraph should contribute directly to this goal.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing, and their health and fitness are suffering. What do you think are the causes of this and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/helath club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??