Some people think that the only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

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The debate surrounding
an
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the
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idea that
money
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is a standard to assess the
success
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of people in
business
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.
However
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, the writer claims that
money
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is just a supportive tool,
while
Linking Words
well-adaption and advantageous contribution to society are the core factors of
success
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. It is reasonable to assume that the number of
money
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is just
a
Correct article usage
an
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unconderable
Correct your spelling
inconsiderable
uncounterable
rate
to
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for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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success
Use synonyms
. To explain
further
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, throughout the process of trading
includes
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including
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selling and buying, the amount of
money
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can be both increased and decreased unpredictably, which leads to the fluctuation of individual's accounts.
As a result
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, in each period, the
own
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apply
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mone
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money
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of
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apply
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per person is considerably distinctive.
Conversly
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Conversely
, well-adaption plays a significant role
to be
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in being
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successful in
this
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era.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that a company can not exist and develop
sustainable
Replace the word
sustainability
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unless the boss is well-adjusted with new global
trend
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trends
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.
This
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means
,
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apply
show examples
they need to have new
alternation
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alternatives
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that
up
Add a missing verb
are up
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to the standard of the world.
For instance
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, in
this
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technological and scientific era,
business
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can sharply rise in
long-term
Add an article
the long-term
a long-term
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period as entrepreneurs are able to adapt and
ultilize
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utilise
available labour to become
a
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apply
show examples
lucrative
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business
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businesses such
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as
coca-cola
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Coca-Cola
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company,
microsoftword
Correct your spelling
Microsoft word
micro soft word
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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,.. Another noticeable point is the beneficial impact on society and
country
Correct article usage
the country
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. To be more specific, in developing
area
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areas
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whether
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apply
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residents can
be gained
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gain
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positive effects or
having
Wrong verb form
have
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low
assessment
Fix the agreement mistake
assessments
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
people's sights.
Furthemore
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Furthermore
,
Add an article
a businessman
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businessman
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businessmen
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need to have
certain
Add an article
a certain
the certain
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reputation
on
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in
show examples
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
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human
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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due to
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their good signature.Take Elon Musk
is
Correct your spelling
as
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a prime
examle
Correct your spelling
example
, whose
business
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has
bring
Wrong verb form
brought
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excessive benefits to residents around the world
such
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as chatting on Twister,... Taking everything into account,
money
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can not be truly
indicative
Correct article usage
an indicative
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factor to the
business
Use synonyms
's
success
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
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, well-adjusted and beneficial
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
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to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
will lead to the
successful way
Correct your spelling
success
show examples
of entrepreneurs.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Focus on providing a clear introduction and conclusion that delineate your main points and summarise your argument effectively.
Logical Structure
Ensure your essay follows a logical structure with well-organised paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be connected to the overall argument.
Supporting Examples
Include more specific examples to support your ideas. These can help illustrate your points more concretely and make your argument more compelling.
Idea Development
Clarify and develop your main ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore a specific aspect of the topic, and the relationship between your ideas should be clear to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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