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Some people think that the only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

#people #judge #someone #success #business #amount #money #indicator
The debate surrounding
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea that
money
 is a standard to assess the
success
 of people in
business
.
However
, the writer claims that
money
 is just a supportive tool,
while
 well-adaption and advantageous contribution to society are the core factors of
success
. It is reasonable to assume that the number of
money
 is just
a
Correct article usage
an
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unconderable
Correct your spelling
inconsiderable
uncounterable
 rate
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
. To explain
further
, throughout the process of trading
includes
Wrong verb form
including
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 selling and buying, the amount of
money
 can be both increased and decreased unpredictably, which leads to the fluctuation of individual's accounts.
As a result
, in each period, the
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
mone
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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per person is considerably distinctive.
Conversly
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, well-adaption plays a significant role
to be
Change preposition
in being
show examples
 successful in
this
 era.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that a company can not exist and develop
sustainable
Replace the word
sustainability
show examples
 unless the boss is well-adjusted with new global
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they need to have new
alternation
Replace the word
alternatives
show examples
 that
up
Add a missing verb
are up
show examples
 to the standard of the world.
For instance
, in
this
 technological and scientific era,
business
 can sharply rise in
long-term
Add an article
the long-term
a long-term
show examples
 period as entrepreneurs are able to adapt and
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilise
 available labour to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lucrative
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses such
show examples
 as
coca-cola
Change the capitalization
Coca-Cola
show examples
 company,
microsoftword
Correct your spelling
Microsoft word
micro soft word
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
,.. Another noticeable point is the beneficial impact on society and
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
. To be more specific, in developing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
whether
Correct word choice
apply
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residents can
be gained
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 positive effects or
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 low
assessment
Fix the agreement mistake
assessments
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people's sights.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
Add an article
a businessman
show examples
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
 need to have
certain
Add an article
a certain
the certain
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 reputation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
due to
 their good signature.Take Elon Musk
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 a prime
examle
Correct your spelling
example
, whose
business
 has
bring
Wrong verb form
brought
show examples
 excessive benefits to residents around the world
such
 as chatting on Twister,... Taking everything into account,
money
 can not be truly
indicative
Correct article usage
an indicative
show examples
 factor to the
business
's
success
.
Nonetheless
, well-adjusted and beneficial
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
 to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 will lead to the
successful way
Correct your spelling
success
show examples
 of entrepreneurs.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Focus on providing a clear introduction and conclusion that delineate your main points and summarise your argument effectively.
Logical Structure
Ensure your essay follows a logical structure with well-organised paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be connected to the overall argument.
Supporting Examples
Include more specific examples to support your ideas. These can help illustrate your points more concretely and make your argument more compelling.
Idea Development
Clarify and develop your main ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore a specific aspect of the topic, and the relationship between your ideas should be clear to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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