Teachers of young children at a primary school are considering making one significant change to better support their student's educational and social development. Which one of the following changes do you think is the most important for the teachers to make and why?

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Generally, the significance of supporting young
children
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at the first stage
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of their school is a crucial issue. They should learn about social connection and an educational system must consider many aspects of their development. I believe that teachers and schools should cooperate with parents to better support them. From my point of view, Making a big change requires many factors
such
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as having a good
teacher
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, an affectionate family, enrolling in an eligible school and a series of facilities.
For example
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, an aware
teacher
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knows what
children
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need so the
teacher
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prepares an appropriate environment to improve their own
students
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and teamwork with others in order to raise the layer of social networks to make new connections.
On the other hand
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, designing new skills for
children
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can improve their recognition when they
will
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apply
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face many problems. In my opinion, the most important thing for the
teacher
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is the power to solve troubles. I think that learning about social relationships and encountering
with
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apply
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many challenges must be the first step of the learning process. Developing
students
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is a vital topic for their parents
also
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a nice
teacher
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plays an important role in improving
children
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.
For instance
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, making a novel way to help them to easily learn about
the
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apply
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future perspectives.
However
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, a professional primary school as an educational reference helps mentors
to
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teach their
students
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through updated methods. Taking everything into conclusion, the creativity of teachers and the facilities of schools are important elements in changing and supporting
children
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's lives. We will see many successful
students
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after establishing new teaching structures.
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coherence and cohesion
Make sure every paragraph has a clear main idea and purpose. This helps in improving the overall coherence and structure of your essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. While you've stated the importance of teacher creativity and updated methods, specific examples or scenarios could more effectively illustrate these ideas.
task achievement
Work on developing a clearer stance on the topic from the introduction through to the conclusion. Your essay could benefit from stating your main argument more explicitly early on.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure and using transitional phrases to smooth the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
You've conveyed a thoughtful perspective on the importance of teacher and school roles in supporting children.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main ideas and reiterates the importance of teacher creativity and school facilities.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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