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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements ? with the help of technology , students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly.

#statements #help #technology #students #information
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It is undeniable that
technology
 plays a vital role in humans and it has a significant benefit. Some people argue that
technology
 assists
students
 and it helps them to find data immediately. I strongly agree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will present my reasons and draw a logical conclusion. On the one hand, most
students
 rely on
technology
 because of the enormous advantages of using
technology
 and it has a significant benefit to
students
 .First and foremost, some
students
 do not understand the explanation of the teacher or the doctor at university so most
students
 prefer to search from Internet to find the information immediately or they think that sometimes teachers do not have sufficient information on the Internet. A prime example of
that is
 my sister did not understand her teacher in the lesson mathematics and she preferred to use the internet to understand more.
Furthermore
, most
students
 suffer from pressure at university and school and they need help from
technology
 quickly to find information.
Furthermore
,
technology
 is
also
 a very convenient and effective way to learn.
Technology
 helps
students
 to manage their work and study together
For instance
, most of the
students
 are from middle-class families and they are not able to afford the higher cost of education.
Due to
this
, they have to do part-time work,
while
 doing study. Adding more, computerized education provides
students
 with a variety of advantages in terms of fulfilling tasks. What I mean is that computers bring many positive improvements
such
 as accuracy, efficiency, and simplicity. In conclusion,
according to
 my point of view
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
technology
 has abundant benefits to ease the life of
students
.
Submitted by maha.wed on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. Illustrating points with detailed examples can make your essay more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the richness of your language. This can also help in clarifying complex ideas and keeping the reader engaged.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and summarizing the key points.
logical structure
Logical structure is present throughout the essay, with each paragraph focusing on distinct reasons for the argument made in the introduction.
supported main points
The utilization of personal examples, like the one involving your sister, helps to provide a concrete basis for your argument and makes it more relatable to readers.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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