IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that reading newspapers is a thing of the past and reading
news
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 on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is becoming more common these days. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why I believe that
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
is do
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not popular and
the
Rephrase
why the
show examples
Internet
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 is
main
Change the article
the main
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 form for most
people
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
internet
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 is useful for
people
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 who have their own smartphones. today. It takes less time than reading
Use synonyms
news paper
Correct your spelling
newspaper
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, most
people
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 want to know about the
news
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 which they are really interested in, and it is easy and fast to search on the
Internet
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. If they read
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news
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 paper, they need to start
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 looking for the page and it takes too much time.
Moreover
Linking Words
people
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 can compare information because there are a lot of different aspects and opinions even if there is one
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news
Correct quantifier usage
piece of news
show examples
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
people
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 feel that they don't need to buy
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some opinion that
newspaper
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 is not the
past
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 thing because there are many
newspaper
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 companies and they are selling
newspaper
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. But it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that the sales rate
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 decreased. The sale rate is about 50% down, compared to
10years
Correct your spelling
10 years
 ago.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are a lot of
newspaper
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 which
product
Replace the word
produce
show examples
 their own
news
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 apps. It is
also
Linking Words
 the reason why
people
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 do not buy
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news paper
Correct your spelling
newspaper
show examples
 these days. In conclusion, the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is becoming more popular and newspapers are becoming a thing of the past because of
convenience
Add an article
the convenience
show examples
 of the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on

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introduction conclusion present
Revise the introduction to more clearly outline your main points and position, presenting a thesis statement that succinctly summarizes the argument.
logical structure
Increase logical structure by better organizing paragraphs. Each should start with a clear topic sentence followed by examples and explanations.
supported main points
Support main points with more specific examples and evidence. Reference studies, statistics, or news to add weight to your argument.
complete response
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea relevant to your position, articulating how each supports your overall argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively, avoiding repetition and expanding on why the shift to digital news is significant.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific, real-world examples or case studies to illustrate your points, enhancing the relevance and impact of your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
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