In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However nowadays, this information can be found through internet, therefore is no need for museum
In the past,
museums
provided several things about culture and history. But these days, information about museums
should be easily found online, so some people
believe that museums
are no longer needed. I Firmly disagree, because there are benefits by
entering a Change preposition
to
museum
directly and could be a medium for a student's learning process.
There are advantages that visitors could find by entering a museum
directly. A museum
is a space room for visitors to look and
hear original recordings Change preposition
at and
into
some previous culture and history at specific time-lines. Change preposition
of
Although
nowadays people
may be able to find similar information about museums
just by entering some keywords through the internet that are related to specific museum
, we Fix the agreement mistake
museums
could not
deny that those Wrong verb form
cannot
people
are not able to look at the visual of historical heritage directly. Furthermore
, there is something that can not be replaced because this
kind of activity must be one way to feel special, which could take people
into deep imaginations of particular moments. So, this
is an example of benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
from
attending a Change preposition
of
museum
.
In addition
, museums
should be a medium of study, especially for children. Schools often bring their students to a museum
in order to make children enjoy history subjects more and more. Science has described that visual learning could make people
understand something roughly 25% better than by
reading a book in Change preposition
apply
the
class. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, they would be able to understand histories and cultures deeply, while
they enjoyed the moments at the museum
.
In conclusion, I completely disagree with the statement that we no longer need a museum
anymore due to
people
being able to access it Online. Because a museum
could bring people
to particular moments and feel it
, Correct pronoun usage
them
as well as
a museum
could be a medium for children.Submitted by Keterolac on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes your viewpoint, engaging well with the topic. However, refining your introduction and conclusion to directly address the question can enhance clarity and relevance.
Sentence Structure
Your essay could benefit from more varied and sophisticated sentence structures. Incorporating a range of complex sentences can improve the flow and coherence of your writing.
Supporting Examples
While you provide examples to support your ideas, integrating more detailed and specific examples can strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject.
Task Response
You've done a good job at addressing the prompts, but ensuring that every paragraph directly supports your main argument can further improve your task achievement score. Avoid general statements and make every sentence count towards your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!