IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different countries and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

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Nowadays, some believe that visiting various
countries
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 in order to explore them is not significant
due to
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 the fact that they can research these
countries
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 by using a lot of
information
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 provided by online platforms. Personally, I disagree with
this
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 idea, because I think that travelling to other states and experiencing their lifestyle and so on makes more sense than sitting at home and just scrolling through the internet. There are a number of reasons why people have to go to another
country
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 physically.
To begin
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 with, it is logical that visiting a
country
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 presents first-hand experiences
such
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 as sensing local smells, tastes, and
also
Linking Words
 sounds which cannot be replaced through online sources. If individuals prefer to use online
information
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 about a
country
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, they will not be able to sense physically a lot of special aspects of
this
Linking Words
 place.
For instance
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, many humans nowadays travel to huge
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as the US and the UK, where they can see plenty of special entertainment like American traditions and so on.
Secondly
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, visitors are capable of communicating face-to-face with locals, which offers deep insights into cultural practices and everyday life;
accordingly
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 fostering a better understanding and bridging cultural gaps.
Finally
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, it is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
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 that citizens cannot holiday and travel with the help of online
information
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, but real travelling is able to give
this
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 opportunity to all visitors.
On the other hand
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, several parts of humankind may think that by using the internet they will not spend a tremendous amount of money to visit a particular
country
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.
Nevertheless
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, I feel it is not
such
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 a big issue
due to
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 the fact they are able to earn an adequate sum of money at any time. To give a clear example, it is possible to gain money, by doing freelance and so on. By doing
this
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, they will accumulate a good amount of finance to
finally
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 travel live. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the statement that utilising internet sources and learning
information
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 about certain
countries
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 can replace travelling physically in our society
,
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apply
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 because experiencing real feelings is much more positive.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position in response to the prompt and offers some well-developed arguments. However, to improve further, consider developing your points with more depth and providing additional examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a logical structure and clear progression of ideas, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and consider using more varied linking phrases to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
You have effectively presented a clear stance on the topic and provided relevant arguments to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow of ideas, with an introduction that sets the context and a conclusion that reiterates your opinion.
task achievement
You have used appropriate examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • authentic experiences
  • first-hand experiences
  • face-to-face conversations
  • cultural practices
  • bridging cultural gaps
  • personal growth
  • problem-solving skills
  • adaptability skills
  • online resources
  • real-world experiences
  • misrepresentation
  • biased
  • emotional connections
  • virtual exploration
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