Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Othe people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both points and give your opinion

These days, the subjects that are taught in institutes are so varied from the previous time, so many people believe that it is crucial to teach
history
while
others think
science
and
technology
are more essential than
history
. In my opinion,
science
and
technology
are the best subjects owing to the fact that we live in a world where everything is solved with new gadgets, and when we do not have any information about them we cannot live very well. On the one hand,
history
is the best category in schools that helps people to learn the ancients' thinks, works, situations, and so on;
additionally
,
history
aids governments in finding the best ways that have high satisfaction from societies and they can develop their countries immediately.
In other words
,
history
is the main thing which populations who want to work in politics have to know about .
On the other hand
, nowadays, we live in a century in which
science
and
technology
have a lot of effect on not only our lifestyles but
also
our jobs;
consequently
, when we do not know about them we can not live.
For instance
, unless you have information about how can work with
technology
, you are not able to find good job opportunities;
besides
, you do not have income.
As a result
, the main factors which new generations should know about are
science
and knowledge about how new devices work and the ways that we can develop them.
To sum up
, the fact that
history
teaches us not to have faults again, yet we have to learn
science
and
technology
to survive currently on account of the fact that they are the most necessary parts that have a majority influence on our lives.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by organizing your points more clearly. Consider using clear topic sentences and appropriate transition words to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments.
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Strengthen your task response by supporting your arguments with more specific examples or evidence. This will help to clarify your points and make your argument more persuasive.
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Work on improving clarity by elaborating on some of your ideas further. This will help make your essay more comprehensive and your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully framing your arguments.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by considering both perspectives on the importance of history and science/technology subjects.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights into
  • past events
  • comprehensive understanding
  • informed citizenship
  • appreciate different cultures
  • critical thinking skills
  • analyzing sources
  • globalized world
  • contextualize current events
  • global challenges
  • advancement and innovation
  • fast-evolving
  • digital world
  • improved quality of life
  • analytical skills
  • problem-solving skills
  • career development
  • technological literacy
  • digitalization
  • automation
  • transform industries
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