The most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Nowadays. with the development of automation, art

also

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enhances to serve society and plays a huge role in

this

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system. So, I wholeheartedly concur with

this

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issue.

Firstly

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, about the healthcare problem. The development of new machinery contributes to developing the medical field. Thanks to the development of automation and the efforts of scientists. a lot of the population who have incurable diseases can feel more conflict and receive more encouragement to live and beat these circumstances.

For instance

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, with the cancer. In the past, many people had to encounter

this

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disease and unfortunately can not overcome it .

However

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, in recent years, when new techniques have been growing day by day. The virus can be discovered earlier and

this

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is the factor that helps victims be treated faster.

Besides

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, there are many latest modern methods that are applied in the healing process and

also

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for the medical college where teaching young doctors.

Secondly

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, The improvement in information and automation

also

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supports people in other fields.

Such

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as military, education and farming.

For example

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, in studies, based on modern systems, student can easily access new knowledge with one touch on their smartphone's screen or can research a lot of documentaries without carrying thick books whenever they need it. Following that, for military and security problems. Science can

also

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help the demand of people.

For instance

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, by applying science to researching new machinery, many impressive inventions were created with unique designs, especially the security camera. By using

this

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camera, the users can easily install it in many places unlimit and carry all the vision they want. In conclusion, science plays a huge role in human society.

That is

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an indispensable factor in enhancing the living standard and contributing to encouraging improvement in other fields, including military, education, healthcare and even politics.

phamletrungkien1230

Mar 25, 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question posed. The topic focuses on science's primary aim being to improve lives, but the essay diverts to automation and its benefits across different fields. Focus squarely on how scientific advancements (not just automation) aim to or should aim to enhance human life.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of ideas. Consider using clear paragraph structures that start with a topic sentence, followed by examples or explanations, and conclude with a summarizing or transitional sentence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall cohesion of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Remember to include a clear introduction that states your main argument or position on the topic. Also, ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your key points and restates your overall standpoint on the issue.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

advancement
innovations
sustainability
renewable energy
biotechnology
quality of life
environmental issues
climate change
pollution
technological
efficiency
sustainable practices
food security
agricultural
crop yields
nutrition
economic development
industries
poverty reduction
education
knowledge dissemination
informed decision-making

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