The most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
Nowadays. with the development of automation, art
also
enhances to serve society and plays a huge role in this
system. So, I wholeheartedly concur with this
issue.
Firstly
, about the healthcare problem. The development of new machinery contributes to developing the medical field. Thanks to the development of automation and the efforts of scientists. a lot of the population who have incurable diseases can feel more conflict and receive more encouragement to live and beat these circumstances. For instance
, with the cancer. In the past, many people had to encounter this
disease and unfortunately can not overcome it . However
, in recent years, when new techniques have been growing day by day. The virus can be discovered earlier and this
is the factor that helps victims be treated faster. Besides
, there are many latest modern methods that are applied in the healing process and also
for the medical college where teaching young doctors. Secondly
, The improvement in information and automation also
supports people in other fields. Such
as military, education and farming. For example
, in studies, based on modern systems, student can easily access new knowledge with one touch on their smartphone's screen or can research a lot of documentaries without carrying thick books whenever they need it. Following that, for military and security problems. Science can also
help the demand of people. For instance
, by applying science to researching new machinery, many impressive inventions were created with unique designs, especially the security camera. By using this
camera, the users can easily install it in many places unlimit and carry all the vision they want.
In conclusion, science plays a huge role in human society. That is
an indispensable factor in enhancing the living standard and contributing to encouraging improvement in other fields, including military, education, healthcare and even politics.Submitted by phamletrungkien1230 on
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question posed. The topic focuses on science's primary aim being to improve lives, but the essay diverts to automation and its benefits across different fields. Focus squarely on how scientific advancements (not just automation) aim to or should aim to enhance human life.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of ideas. Consider using clear paragraph structures that start with a topic sentence, followed by examples or explanations, and conclude with a summarizing or transitional sentence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall cohesion of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Remember to include a clear introduction that states your main argument or position on the topic. Also, ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your key points and restates your overall standpoint on the issue.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion