You are interested in attending a training course abroad but require financial support to do so. Write a letter to the education department requesting financial assistance.

#course #support #education #department #assistance

Dear Sir / Madam I am Sarah Anderson web department manager of the

company

. The reason I am writing is to request financial assistance for a web development training

course

which is going to be held at McGill University next month. As you are aware of the value of being updated in computer-related departments, taking part in

this

course

could be beneficial for the future of our

company

, Since the

company

has a large number of rivals all over the country which are trying to update their staff's knowledge regularly.

Additionally

, having different certificates from top-rated universities could bring more reliability for the

company

and the number of customers will definitely increase in the future. So I am requesting financial aid from the

company

to register for the so-called

course

. Please kindly check my request and if possible confirm receiving the funds I need. The

course

information including the price is attached to the letter, please find it. I will be appreciated if you contribute me to attend to the

course

. Sincerely yours Sarah Andeson

Submitted by keyhan454 on Mon Mar 25 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your task achievement, ensure that your letter elaborates more on how the training course directly benefits you and the company. Describe the skills you hope to gain and how these will be applied to your current role or projects.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, consider linking your paragraphs more smoothly. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your reasoning and make your argument more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on developing each paragraph with a single, clear idea, supported by specific examples or details. This will make your writing more impactful and easier for the reader to follow.

General Writing Skill

Review and correct minor spelling or grammatical errors such as 'appreciated' to 'appreciate it' and 'Sarah Andeson' to 'Sarah Anderson'. Paying attention to these details can enhance the overall professionalism and clarity of your writing.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

175 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are interested in attending a training course abroad but require financial support to do so. Write a letter to the education department requesting financial assistance.

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose higher taxes on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on people. D o you agree or disagree?

Art and music classes should not be mandatory at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

More and more people are using computers and other electronic devices to acess information. So, printing of books, magazines and newspapers should not be done. Do you agree or disagree with this?