Can money bring happiness to people? Should people rather focus on moral values instead?

#money #happiness #people #focus #values

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The concept of

happiness

breaks into countless interpretations, making it impossible to quantify. People generally fall into two groups regarding the relationship between

money

and

happiness

, sparking endless debates. In my perspective,

money

serves as a tool to achieve the peak of

happiness

. If you aim to maintain good health

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

cherish moments with your family and experience joy,

money

will become indispensable for securing that health. In one perspective,

money

is seen as a tool to achieve

happiness

. Financial stability can alleviate stress and provide a sense of security, enabling individuals to pursue their passions and desires.

However

, without moral values guiding their actions, individuals may find themselves feeling empty and unfulfilled despite their material wealth.

On the other hand

, prioritizing moral values can lead to deeper connections with others, a greater sense of purpose, and lasting

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

While

money

may facilitate access to certain experiences, it is the cultivation of empathy, compassion, and integrity that ultimately leads to true

happiness

Submitted by libranefertiti93 on Mon Mar 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

To elevate your essay, consider more concrete examples to support your claims. While you've done well in presenting your ideas, fleshing them out with specific instances could enhance their impact.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, but to improve coherence further, try making your transitions between paragraphs smoother. Using phrases that more obviously link ideas can help maintain a seamless flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

162 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Despite the popularity of universities, it is of the opinion that vocational training should be encouraged to help alleviate the shortage of skilled workers in the workforce. Personally, I hold a different perspective on this notion.
5.5
band
Many newspapers, magazines and television programmes make money by reporting on the private lives of public figures such as politicians, sports personalities and entertainers. While the media's right to freedom of expression should be defended, the media should not intrude into people's private affairs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It has been increasingly common for the media to make public the private lives of the elite and celebrities against their will. Some may argue that such practice is warranted owing to the media’s freedom of speech, while others disagree strongly with it because it is a violation of personal privacy.
6.5
band
With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
With the rapid advancement of technology, numerous robotic assistants are now capable of performing tasks traditionally done by humans. Despite the potential benefits of reducing the workforce, the drawbacks, such as a rising unemployment rate and substantial costs, significantly outweigh the positives.
4
band
Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Due to the advancement of technology nowadays, works now can be done at home instead of offices and many people think that this phenomenom should be encouraged because of its benefits. Personally, i firmly agree with this point of view for its convenient and effective.
4.5
band
Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Before the advancement of technology people used to utilize bicycles to travel from one place to other. These days many people using other transport methods as compared to bicycle and the population can be encouraged to use bicycle to commute at their work places and perform other tasks. This essay will outline two causes and how people can be motivated to use bicycles and at last I will provide my experience.

Can money bring happiness to people? Should people rather focus on moral values instead?

Fully explain your ideas

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.