Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Whether success stems from hardship and dedication or from fortune and beauty is a highly controversial discussion point.
This
writer contends that having a sheer will is the key factor to the accomplishment of life
due to
motivation and stability, despite those who think that having an initial budget is crucial. It should be understood that working for desire provides great encouragement.
In other words
, ambition helps people utilize their full potential for various skills and experiences
while
also
increasing their
overall
mentality when encountering setbacks.
Subsequently
, ambitious workers tend to acquire knowledge more efficiently than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others and failure has less impact on them.
For instance
, in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted in Ho Chi Minh City, approximately 40% of employees who perform well are motivated solely by their goals.
However
, there are individuals who believe that wealth plays a superior role in terms of success. They believe that a great fortune is essential in starting any business in today’s world.
While
this
is a credible point, it should be known that beginning without any penny is possible if the person knows how to manage their business. By using knowledge that can be learned around societies,
such
people can achieve greater than those who rely on their wealth and possibly be more successful. The writer advocates the long-lasting effect of doing jobs with dedication. It should be self-evident that having experience in their profession can make their career more stable as they are driven by their own dream and it can even
last
for a lifetime. Take Einstein as a prime example, he dedicated his life to science which made him an icon for his brilliant works and achievements. In conclusion,
this
writer believes hard work and determination are more worthwhile than image and finance.
Hence
this
essay has demonstrated clear points to the aforementioned statement.

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task achievement
Enhance your task achievement by expanding on the alternative view more thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion before stating your own position. This ensures a comprehensive analysis of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use a wider range of linking sentences and phrases that clearly show the relationship between your points.
task achievement
Incorporate more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a wider knowledge of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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