task 2: in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier anf live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Recent years have witnessed the development of young generations with ever better qualities of life than those in the previous decades, youngsters are thought to have more happiness
align
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aligned
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with being wealthier, healthier and having longer life expands.
However
, the reality may show that they are less happy.
This
problem
an
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can
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be attributed to several factors, and
this
essay suggests viable
solution
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solutions
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to remedy the situation. Young
people
not feeling happier in spite of their
materials
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material
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possessions
ca
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can
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stem from 2 main reasons. Foremost among these is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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mental issues
such
as stress or depression caused by work pressure. that says, in
this
digital era, when innovations of technology and
mass
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the mass
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of social platforms have allowed users to
expose
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be exposed
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to more online vocational training for free to update their knowledge and specific skills, or online recruitments
as well as
the increase in population.
This
escalates into too
much
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many
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applicants with outstanding skills but limited promotions, and in order to get employed, the young have to try even harder than
people
in the past.
In addition
,
besides
the purpose of sharing and storing memorable
experience
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experiences
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on social media, more and more
people
use it as a showcase for what they have achieved, or in
worst
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the worst
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case, they can fake their achievements to get the
admire
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admiration
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from
the
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apply
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others. Take
“flexing”
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the “flexing”
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trend in Vietnam, for
examples
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example
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, when its initial aim is to motivate
people
to
endeavor
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endeavour
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to
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toward
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their goals, many have reported
to be
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being
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less satisfied with accomplishments
due to
their fear of missing out. So as to cope with the aforementioned
problem
, several following steps should be taken. The first solution could be
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for that
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that
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the
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government
encourage
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to encourage
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the
expansions
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expansion
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of firms and the
establishments
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establishment
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of more private businesses to create more jobs for
the
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apply
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youngsters, to ensure there are enough work positions and social welfare for them. Indeed,
government
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the government
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should
also
intensify the importance of psychologists in assisting
people
to overcome their mental problems through consultants in
workplace
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the workplace
show examples
or public workshops. The second solution, on an individual level, the young should build themselves
a
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apply
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confidence in their egos, which means to help them
less
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be less
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affected by pressures on social media. They can do
this
by reading self-help books
such
as “How to
stop worries
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Stop Worries
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and
start living happily
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Start Living Happily
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” by Dale Carnegie -
professors’
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professors
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recommend, or by meditation as good. In conclusion, the
problem
people
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of people
show examples
being less happy despite having better life qualities can
be ascribe
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be ascribed
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from
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to
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work pressure and fear of leaving behind.
Nevertheless
,
this
problem
is still positively soluble, but not without the aid from
government
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the government
show examples
and
efforts
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the efforts
show examples
of individuals to build a healthy mindset.
Submitted by mylinhlee27 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly. You can use more transitional phrases, or conjunctions to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Pay close attention to minor grammatical errors, especially verb forms and article usage. Editing your essays more thoroughly or seeking feedback from a native speaker might help.
task achievement
You provided a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both causes and solutions of the issue quite thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the essay’s main points, offering clear framing for your arguments.
task achievement
The examples you gave are relevant and specific, helping to illustrate your points well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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