Considering that adults spend much of their lives at work, having job satisfaction is extremely important. What factors contributes to job satisfaction ? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all employees ?

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With our developing world, it becomes impossible to live a life without pressure and many responsibilities, people do not have enough job satisfaction . In
this
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essay, I will be discussing the factors that lead to
this
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, and the solutions. On the one hand,
firstly
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, there are two main problems that make the employees not comfortable in their jobs. First is working for a long
time
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,
for instance
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, people mostly in Asia work at least six to nine hours every day with no
time
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to rest. The second reason is balancing between the long
time
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and the income the individual earns, imagine waking up at seven in the morning and staying at the place where you feed your children until three afternoons and
at the end
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of the month, you don't get paid the way you deserve.
On the other hand
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, some solutions will be displayed to solve
this
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massive case. The government must increase the payment for their employees.
Moreover
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, people have to find a way to make a balance between their outdoor activities and the ones at home.
Thus
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, they will have a more comfy
time
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and the job satisfaction issue will decrease. In conclusion, we can not eliminate
this
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argument but at least we have the chance to mitigate it, and the institutions and individuals should take responsibility for what has been discussed lately. With more efficient incomes and less
time
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work.
Consequently
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, it leads to a better society and job satisfaction, so be
smart
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a smart
show examples
and useful person.
Submitted by shireen.asadi on

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the topic, but it needs a more in-depth discussion of the factors contributing to job satisfaction and the realism of job satisfaction for all employees. The task is not fully addressed as per IELTS requirements.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but transitions between ideas can be smoother. The introduction and conclusion should clearly present the topic and summarize the main points of the essay, respectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are identified but not sufficiently developed or supported by specific examples and details to illustrate the arguments made.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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