Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that are more important factors such as money and apperance. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #apperance

Many individuals believe that

hard-working

Correct word choice

hard work

show examples

and determination will

Verb problem

help them

show examples

succeeded

Wrong verb form

succeed

show examples

in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

While others

Correct word choice

Others

show examples

think that money and appearance are important factors

to make

Change preposition

in making

show examples

their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

This

essay argues that

success

life

demand

Correct subject-verb agreement

demands

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hard work and determination, and will explain why I choose it. On the one hand,

life

will be succeeded

bases

Wrong verb form

based

show examples

on trying to do

somethings

Fix the agreement mistake

something

show examples

and having

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

determination. Actually, it can be true because the appearance of

success

life

belong

Change the verb form

belongs

show examples

hard-working

Replace the word

hard work

show examples

. It means they have patience and

clearly

Change the word

clear

show examples

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

, the

success

will

acquire

Wrong verb form

be acquired

show examples

more quickly.

For example

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

students

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

global

Change the word

globally

show examples

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

quality

Fix the agreement mistake

qualities

show examples

base

Replace the word

based

show examples

power

Correct article usage

the power

show examples

and knowledge they have.

Thus

, the result they achieved will become.

On the other hand

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

thinks finance and appearance are an important factor

to make

Change preposition

in making

show examples

their

life become

Wrong verb form

lives

show examples

better.

This

means that

person

Correct article usage

a person

show examples

will

happiness

Replace the word

be happy

show examples

and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

enough

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

things when they have two factors. Of

course

Add a comma

course,

show examples

it may be true, but the

major

Correct your spelling

majority

show examples

of it

bases

Wrong verb form

is based

show examples

on fortune, it can solve certainly. If you want to have

success

for a long time, it will be

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

ideas

Fix the agreement mistake

idea

show examples

and

also

make your

life

more difficult. In conclusion,

success

always

surround

Change the verb form

surrounds

show examples

everyone, but you should have chosen each of

Correct article usage

the factor

show examples

factor

Fix the agreement mistake

factors

show examples

and

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

of time that make your

life

better.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Mar 25 2024

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Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion. Your introduction should give a brief overview of the points that you will discuss in the essay.

Supported Main Points

Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Try to include personal, historical, or hypothetical examples to support your arguments.

Complete Response

Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your opinion should be clear throughout the essay, and the conclusion should summarise your views effectively.

Logical Structure

Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using linking words and phrases more effectively. This enhances the coherence of the essay and makes it easier to follow.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Work on the clarity of your ideas by articulating them more precisely. Avoid overly complex or unclear sentences that might confuse the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

219 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that students in high school should not waste their time studying literature, such as poems and novels. Do you agree?

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Immigration has a huge impact on the society. What are the reasons and the causes to it?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather that compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.