ome people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while others think that therefore more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Working hard and being
determinated
Correct your spelling
determined
are
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
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to be a key
for
Change preposition
to
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a bright future.
However
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, insist that
money
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and looks play a greater
role
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in helping a person succeed. In my opinion, both views have their merits.
While
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good looks or
money
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alone cannot help a person succeed, in many
fields
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hard
work
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or
determination
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is not sufficient either. On the
one
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hand,hard
work
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and
determination
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can reduce the length of
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
to
success
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.
To begin
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with ,on that road ,there are many difficulties which are the barriers.We need
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
hard-working to break them.
Moreover
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,paying attention studiously to
work
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can help us collect experience,being more flexible and open our knowledge,all of them are going to contribute to increasing
exponentiall
Correct your spelling
exponentially
exponential
our chances of
success
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.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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that,
determination
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is an enormous source of energy,it plays an important
role
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in improving mood when working,
release
Wrong verb form
releasing
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the stress from
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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,and
keep
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keeping
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the ambition not to give up our job.
For instance
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, James Cameron, a major figure in the
post new
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post-new
show examples
Hollywood era, and
one
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of the industry's most innovative filmmakers,used to be a poor driver.But having worked hard and been
determinated
Correct your spelling
determined
,he was successful in achieving
dreams
Correct pronoun usage
his dreams
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, there are certain other
fields
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where good looks or wealth can help a person succeed. In show business,
for example
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, attractive looks play a huge
role
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. Good looks are extremely important for someone who wants to be an actor or television show host.
Money
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can
also
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help
one
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buy
success
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. Rich kids often get to study in
ivy
Capitalize word
Ivy
show examples
colleges even if they are not particularly brilliant. The connections they make there help them achieve greater
success
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in future.
In addition
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, they have capital to invest so
success
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comes to them more easily.Even in
fields
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like medicine, law or business, attractive looks improve a hardworking person’s
success
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substantially. Clients may prefer a
good looking
Add a hyphen
good-looking
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attorney to a plain
one
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. Good looks
also
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enhance a person’s
self confidence
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self-confidence
show examples
. They are not exactly afraid of rejection and
this
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confidence
also
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plays a crucial
role
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in boosting their
success
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. In conclusion, in some
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fields
Add a comma
fields,
show examples
hard
work
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and
determination
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are enough to achieve
success
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.
However
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, there are certain other
fields
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where looks matter more. That said, good looks or
money
Use synonyms
alone will not suffice. Attractive and rich people
also
Linking Words
have to try
although
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they have it a whole lot easier.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each of the viewpoints, and the conclusion. Use transition words to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on your spelling and grammar to improve readability and professionalism. Words like 'determinated' should be 'determined,' and ‘exponentiall’ should be 'exponentially.' Proper grammar and spelling are crucial for conveying your message effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully by expanding on your examples and explaining how they support your argument. For instance, after mentioning James Cameron's success story, briefly describe the specific hardships he overcame through hard work and determination.
task achievement
Address the question directly throughout your essay by explicitly discussing how both views relate to your opinion. Make sure to restate your opinion in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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