Some People Think That Success In Life Comes From Hard Work And Determination, While Others Think That There Are More Important Factors Such As Money And Appearance
There is a controversial topic: some personalities like
determination
or industriousness often lead to success in life, while
others think the
Correct article usage
apply
wealthy
and beauty can be more suitable reasons. From Replace the word
wealth
this
author's perspective, money and appearance
can be beneficial to success because they impress people
around
, but hard work and Correct pronoun usage
around them
determination
are better at proving a worker's ability.
Firstly
, there is an undeniable point that money and appearance
play a vital role in our society as an effective way to impress people
around
. When Correct pronoun usage
around us
people
join in
an interview, if they wear Change preposition
apply
some
polite and elegant suits, interviewers can feel respected, which makes it easier to evaluate Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
's abilities and gives them a lot of opportunity
for the future, and vice versa. Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
Moreover
, the rich often have chances for enormous projects due to
the seminar's opinion about the superior personality of being rich. However
, property and appearance
often describe how lucky they are in their lives, not how effective they are at work. For instance
, the minority of the rich and beautiful often inherits
a lot of money from their parents, not from their Correct subject-verb agreement
inherit
effort
.
In terms of hard work and Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
determination
, it can completely display their efficiency in working because of the obvious action
they take when Fix the agreement mistake
actions
people
are industrious and determined. It is easy for their bosses to observe it, or it can be seen from their behavior
, like working extra time or sacrificing their interests in order to focus on working. What is more, when Change the spelling
behaviour
people
are successful with their effort
, they can confirm their ability clearly and authentically, notwithstanding criticism about their background or Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
appearance
. Regarding Havard University as an example, all students need to take exams to corroborate their skills.
In conclusion, people
can have the advantage of being admired and believed in by their appearance
and property, but they cannot have any better evidence for their ability than industriousness and determination
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Task Response
To improve in Task Response, ensure that you address all parts of the task's question comprehensively. This means expanding on how hard work and determination can lead to success with more detailed examples and a broader analysis of their importance compared to wealth and appearance.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help in making the essay flow more naturally and make your arguments more compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.