Some people believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A number of people believe that a successful person must be hardworking and single-minded,
while
others
possessions and good appearance are more essential. Change noun form
others'
other's
However
, the writers supports
the former statement as these virtues are needed in Change the verb form
support
such
a competitive world though some emphasis
the importance of beauty and power in Replace the word
emphasise
showbiz
world.
On the one hand, patience and determination allow people to compete in the modern society. Add an article
the showbiz
This
is because only when workers try hard do they absorb knowledge and experience that help them thrive in the face of the increasing rivalry among co-workers and between humans and artificial intelligence. In fact, chatGPT is dorminating
the world with its incomparable ability to attain information. Correct your spelling
dominating
Therefore
, workers need to consistently learn and overcome hardships to showcase their values and succeed on their career path.
On the other hand
, many people argue that materials and external look
pave the way for success when it comes to Fix the agreement mistake
looks
fashion
field. Add an article
the fashion
This
is creadible
to a certain extent, but fashionists and reputable fashion models are the Correct your spelling
credible
trend-setters
. They need creativity and innovation which are only achieved through hard work to influence the masses. Thereby, determination is of paramount importance in beauty respects.
Personally, Correct your spelling
trendsetters
this
author believe
that those who always pay attention to their appearance tend to lack skills. Change the verb form
believes
This
is why almost every companies
now gravitate towards Change to a singular noun
company
high
skilled employees who are able to Replace the word
highly
shoulders
responsibilities and come up with novelty. Wrong verb form
shoulder
For example
, Google encourages its workers to wear casual clothes to work. Thus
the demand of
Change preposition
for
well dressing
is not vital.
Taking all points into account, Add a hyphen
well-dressing
hardwork
and determination appear in every aspect of life. So they are the key to success.Correct your spelling
hard work
Submitted by zky1705202 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, setting the stage for a well-structured argument. Your conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Strive for variety in your sentence structures and transitions to enhance the logical flow and readability of your essay. This will help in moving smoothly between ideas and arguments.
task achievement
Although you have made an effort to include examples, try to provide more specific and varied illustrations that directly support your arguments. This strengthens your case and makes your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to your essay's structure. Organize it into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. This organization is crucial for your reader to follow your argumentation easily.
task achievement
Work on the clarity and precision of your ideas. Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure that your examples clearly support the points you are trying to make. This will make your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.