IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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group
of
Change preposition
apply
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working,
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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many think about
work
Use synonyms
 some people think working in one
organisation
Use synonyms
 is the best and some workers think the rotation of
work
Use synonyms
 is the best way to up skills and a new challenges, Both opinions are accepted in society, In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both point of view and my personal opinion. First of all, I think that working in the same or
on
Correct your spelling
one
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organisation
Use synonyms
 only has an advantage
for instance
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 you receive promote to up-level from your boss and up salary higher. You have a good experience and nice skills for a specialist.
last
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 example you have a new project to challenge skills and hold a project.
Whereas
Linking Words
,the disadvantage of a worker in the same
organisation
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 you have many
responsible
Replace the word
responsibilities
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 to consult a staff
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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to
Change preposition
by
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 stress
illness
Correct word choice
and illness
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 and sometimes you feel bored
about
Change preposition
with
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 routine
work
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, In my point of view about
work
Use synonyms
 different organisations have positive thinking and negative thinking. In the positive think
such
Linking Words
 as you have a new environment to make your active to
work
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 and you have a new skill to learn about new
work
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 and you have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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many contacts to move to next your career path.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Moving of working has a disadvantage
such
Linking Words
 as the salary being stable when you start a new job and in some role structures of
organisation
Use synonyms
 have a bad environment effect on you. It makes feel you do not enjoy
to
Change the verb form
working
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work
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, In my opinion, working in the same
organisation
Use synonyms
 is the best way to
promote
Wrong verb form
be promoted
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 to the next level and you can manage and edit
row
Fix the agreement mistake
rows
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 in your office when you have a high position in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Firstly, aim to structure your essay more clearly. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the paragraph's main idea. Ensure that each paragraph discusses a single main idea or argument related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability. Combining complex sentences with shorter, straightforward ones can make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to clearly demonstrate how they support your arguments. Providing specific and relevant examples can greatly strengthen your essay and help the reader understand your point of view.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Frequent errors can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to understand. Consider practicing specific grammar points that you find challenging.
task achievement
Revisit the essay question periodically as you write to ensure that you're directly addressing all parts of it. Your conclusion should briefly summarize your discussion and clearly state your own opinion, reinforcing your response to the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
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