Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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group
of
Change preposition
apply
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working,
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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many think about
work
some people think working in one
organisation
is the best and some workers think the rotation of
work
is the best way to up skills and a new challenges, Both opinions are accepted in society, In
this
essay, I will discuss both point of view and my personal opinion. First of all, I think that working in the same or
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
organisation
only has an advantage
for instance
you receive promote to up-level from your boss and up salary higher. You have a good experience and nice skills for a specialist.
last
example you have a new project to challenge skills and hold a project.
Whereas
,the disadvantage of a worker in the same
organisation
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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you have many
responsible
Replace the word
responsibilities
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to consult a staff
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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to
Change preposition
by
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stress
illness
Correct word choice
and illness
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and sometimes you feel bored
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
routine
work
.
However
, In my point of view about
work
different organisations have positive thinking and negative thinking. In the positive think
such
as you have a new environment to make your active to
work
and you have a new skill to learn about new
work
and you have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
many contacts to move to next your career path.
On the other hand
, Moving of working has a disadvantage
such
as the salary being stable when you start a new job and in some role structures of
organisation
have a bad environment effect on you. It makes feel you do not enjoy
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
. In conclusion, In my opinion, working in the same
organisation
is the best way to
promote
Wrong verb form
be promoted
show examples
to the next level and you can manage and edit
row
Fix the agreement mistake
rows
show examples
in your office when you have a high position in the future.
Submitted by phatkhunnok on

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coherence cohesion
Firstly, aim to structure your essay more clearly. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the paragraph's main idea. Ensure that each paragraph discusses a single main idea or argument related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability. Combining complex sentences with shorter, straightforward ones can make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to clearly demonstrate how they support your arguments. Providing specific and relevant examples can greatly strengthen your essay and help the reader understand your point of view.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Frequent errors can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to understand. Consider practicing specific grammar points that you find challenging.
task achievement
Revisit the essay question periodically as you write to ensure that you're directly addressing all parts of it. Your conclusion should briefly summarize your discussion and clearly state your own opinion, reinforcing your response to the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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