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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #paparazzi #celebrities #privacy #pictures #price #fame
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Some
people
 hold the view that paparazzi should not disrupt celebrities' privacy by keeping an eye on them,
while
 others assert that
this
 is the cost of their fame. In
this
 essay, I will shed light on both opinions and reveal my own perspective. On the one hand, those who are against paparazzi claim that media intrusion into the lives of celebrities paves the way for the famous to feel annoyed. First of all, privacy is one of the human rights, so famous
people
 may not be open to scrutiny. Paparrazi interferes with individuals' private lives, which is considered immoral and makes celebrities irritated as they cannot move and behave freely.
However
, others, including me, say that being followed by media can be beneficial in working industries in many ways. To exemplify, many pop stars and actors are inclined to show their lives in order to gain more attention and attraction, which is an advantage to promote their work.
For example
, some popular
people
 cannot be remembered for their work,
such
 as songs, and films.
Therefore
, the only way to stay on the agenda is to display a private life. In conclusion,
although
 some argue that famous
people
 have a right to privacy from paparazzi, I would say that it can give more opportunities to attract publicity.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Task Response
To enhance task response, make sure your essay fully addresses the question prompt. This includes giving a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before stating your own opinion. Aim to provide more specific examples to support both sides of the argument to strengthen your task achievement score.
Coherence
Improve coherence by ensuring your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion. This involves using cohesive devices effectively, such as transitional phrases that clearly signal your movement from discussing one point to another. Also, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within each paragraph are well connected.
Cohesion
For cohesion, organize your ideas more effectively by dedicating separate paragraphs to distinct arguments or points. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using a variety of linking words and phrases. This will not only make your essay more reader-friendly but also showcase your ability to organize thoughts coherently and cohesively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • invasion of privacy
  • personal space
  • media scrutiny
  • mental health
  • public figures
  • relentless pursuit
  • legal implications
  • ethical considerations
  • tabloid journalism
  • financial gain
  • public interest
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