Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. others, however, believe that it is harmful to the studying process.

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Some individuals believe that
technology
is an essential
study
tool for teenagers.
However
, some others argue that
technology
has a negative impact on
study
procedures. I think modern
technology
made
easy
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the process of studying for young
people
. Nowadays, there is an argument that
technology
is an important element of
study
for young
people
. it provides them with different educational resources.
For example
, university students by searching through the internet can find information about her or his presentation.
In addition
, he or she might be able to find a video or images about the seminar.
Therefore
,
technology
has facilitated the process of
study
for teenagers.
However
, the drawbacks of
technology
should be considered. Attracting young individuals beyond
technology
provides them with eye problems.
For instance
, being a teenager for more than 5 hours with a light screen has a negative impact on the eyes.
Moreover
,
technology
is wasting teenager’s time.
For example
, a student by plays games might waste a long time which
instead
can do lots of homework.
As a result
, the disadvantage of
technology
in the
study
procedure is remarkable.
To conclude
,
technology
is an important element of
study
for the young generation.
Although
, some
people
believe that
technology
has a negative impact on the
study
process. I think
technology
has facilitated the procedure of
study
for young
people
.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Task Achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This can strengthen your essay by showing real-world applications or impacts of technology on studying.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a variety of sentence structures and connectors to improve the flow of your essay. While you have a clear structure, more complex sentence constructions can enhance readability and cohesion.
General
Be mindful of small grammatical errors and inconsistencies in your writing. Proofreading your essay can help minimize these mistakes, making your arguments clearer and more professional.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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