Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking the for education and constantly facing under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #education #pressure

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School

Change the article

A school

show examples

is a place for

students

Use synonyms

to receive knowledge. Not a few

students

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have declining grades and are often stressed. One of the causes is that

students

Use synonyms

go to school

while

Linking Words

earning money to meet their needs. The causes of the issue and what kinds of methods can be taken to solve

this

Linking Words

will be discussed in the essay.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are various factors that contribute to

this

Linking Words

problem.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the high cost of tuition

fees

Use synonyms

makes a student feel insufficient with their money.

Therefore

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

tend to seek part-time jobs to pay for their tuition

fees

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

from lower-middle-class families do not have financial support from their parents.

This

Linking Words

means

students

Use synonyms

have to be independent to fund their lives,

such

Linking Words

as food and accommodation. To tackle

this

Linking Words

problem, I suggest that the

government

Use synonyms

should play a crucial role in the

education

Use synonyms

system. The

government

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can provide not only

education

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subsidies but

also

Linking Words

other

fees

Use synonyms

that are needed,

such

Linking Words

as transportation costs and house rental costs. But if the budget for

this

Linking Words

is limited, the

government

Use synonyms

can make rules on who can receive these rights,

for example

Linking Words

, specifically for underprivileged

students

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

can help

students

Use synonyms

be more focused on their studies.

Furthermore

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

who want to look for job experience can manage their time well between working and studying.

Students

Use synonyms

can take part-time jobs that are aligned with

students

Use synonyms

’ academic schedules.

This

Linking Words

can

also

Linking Words

help to manage the balance between work and

education

Use synonyms

more effectively. In conclusion, the causes of

this

Linking Words

issue are the expensive

fees

Use synonyms

for studying and the lack of financial assistance from parents;

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can be overcome by the

government

Use synonyms

, which provides

education

Use synonyms

subsidies

such

Linking Words

as scholarships and accommodation costs.

Also

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

should manage their time between working and studying.

Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on Sat May 11 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea to keep your argument cohesive and easy to follow.

Task Achievement

Although your examples are relevant, including a wider range of specific examples and evidence can strengthen your argument and task response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures and use a range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Revisit the prompt and ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task, including discussing reasons for the issue and proposing solutions.

Coherence & Cohesion

You effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear conclusion, which helps to frame your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay offers a logical structure, with each paragraph developing a specific point related to the prompt.

Task Achievement

You've successfully addressed both the causes of the issue and suggested feasible solutions, fulfilling key aspects of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial burden
tuition fees
part-time jobs
stress levels
work experience
balance work and study
flexible study schedules
financial aid packages
scholarships
internships
academic schedules
fields of study

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Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking the for education and constantly facing under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Your opinion

Some people believe using modern technology (digital photographs, blogs) is the best way to record and remember important personal events. Others think the traditional method (making photo albums, writing diaries) is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

ou are planning to take a vacation. Writing a letter to a friend. In your letter: describe the vacation spot you have chosen explain how you plan to spend your time there invite your friend to join you on your vacation

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

Is it better to live in a countryside or in a city? Explain your reasons and give examples .