Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking the for education and constantly facing under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

School
Change the article
A school
show examples
is a place for
students
to receive knowledge. Not a few
students
have declining grades and are often stressed. One of the causes is that
students
go to school
while
earning money to meet their needs. The causes of the issue and what kinds of methods can be taken to solve
this
will be discussed in the essay.
To begin
with, there are various factors that contribute to
this
problem.
Firstly
, the high cost of tuition
fees
makes a student feel insufficient with their money.
Therefore
,
students
tend to seek part-time jobs to pay for their tuition
fees
.
In addition
,
students
from lower-middle-class families do not have financial support from their parents.
This
means
students
have to be independent to fund their lives,
such
as food and accommodation. To tackle
this
problem, I suggest that the
government
should play a crucial role in the
education
system. The
government
can provide not only
education
subsidies but
also
other
fees
that are needed,
such
as transportation costs and house rental costs. But if the budget for
this
is limited, the
government
can make rules on who can receive these rights,
for example
, specifically for underprivileged
students
.
This
can help
students
be more focused on their studies.
Furthermore
,
students
who want to look for job experience can manage their time well between working and studying.
Students
can take part-time jobs that are aligned with
students
’ academic schedules.
This
can
also
help to manage the balance between work and
education
more effectively. In conclusion, the causes of
this
issue are the expensive
fees
for studying and the lack of financial assistance from parents;
however
,
this
can be overcome by the
government
, which provides
education
subsidies
such
as scholarships and accommodation costs.
Also
,
students
should manage their time between working and studying.
Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
Revisit the prompt and ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task, including discussing reasons for the issue and proposing solutions.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear conclusion, which helps to frame your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay offers a logical structure, with each paragraph developing a specific point related to the prompt.
Task Achievement
You've successfully addressed both the causes of the issue and suggested feasible solutions, fulfilling key aspects of the task.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • part-time jobs
  • stress levels
  • work experience
  • balance work and study
  • flexible study schedules
  • financial aid packages
  • scholarships
  • internships
  • academic schedules
  • fields of study
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