aN INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE WANT TO BUY CLOTHES, SHOES, AND OTHER ITEMS PRODUCED BU FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL BRANDS. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#people #clothes #shoes #items #bu #brands #development

Nowadays the majority of

people

are rising to purchase branded products like a famous international brand. Because they are living competitive

society

. it has both pros and cons effect. in

this

essay, I will discuss about it.

Firstly

, these days

people

are living competitive

society

. they are trying to live always high reach level for each other. They do not think about their financial side. What did others want to do

Change the punctuation

show examples

For example

, a branded company like Nike, and Adidas company very famous these days with the young

generation

Moreover

secondly

society

's young

generation

depends

with

Change preposition

show examples

perance

Correct your spelling

prance

they do not think about how to manage the financial side. They

perches

Change the verb form

perch

show examples

like a cap, choose and T-shirt branded company.

On the other hand

, it is the same way that the young

generation

some of them have financial issues. Because international branded is very expensive. young

generation

does not have to spend much more money because they depend on their parents.

As a result

, younger

people

trying to stop education and they are finding occupations. Because they wanted to do fashion like others.

Therefore

, more and more young

people

are who do not take higher education.they do fashion and earn money. In conclusion, an international branded name is very popular nowadays

society

therefore

, pros and cons. Some of them

wearing

Wrong verb form

wear

show examples

it for faction and others one is going to find occupation living

society

reach and do fashion.

Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Clarify your introduction by presenting a thesis statement that directly addresses the essay question. Make sure your introduction sets up a clear roadmap for your essay.

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Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and more specific examples. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within each paragraph are related to this main idea. Use transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your main points and clearly state your opinion on the topic. This helps reinforce your argument and gives the essay a strong ending.

general

Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors in these areas can distract from your message and make your essay harder to understand. Consider using tools or seeking feedback to help improve these areas.

general

Try to maintain a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid contractions (e.g., replace 'do not' with 'do not') and informal language. This will make your essay sound more professional.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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aN INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE WANT TO BUY CLOTHES, SHOES, AND OTHER ITEMS PRODUCED BU FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL BRANDS. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people view teenager conflicts with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whist others see it something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in the city in the UK.

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this issue?