Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Generally claimed that some
students
are working while
their education, which may regularly impact on Change preposition
during
study
time
management and frequently feeling under pressure. Some students
may have to work
to support them pay for their study
fees that would allow to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
peruse
their degree. Verb problem
pursue
Also
, some students
may work
to improve their experience skills that
could help them to find better job opportunities after Correct pronoun usage
which
graduated
.
To address Change the form of the verb
graduating
this
issue, students
with low income who need money for their academic
could Fix the agreement mistake
academics
study
as part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
that
will help them to decrease Correct pronoun usage
which
the
Change the word
their
anxious
, Replace the word
anxiety
engage
with their classes and Correct word choice
and engage
work
. Furthermore
, financial aid, Correct word choice
and scholarship
scholarship
could help Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
students
to focus on their education and pay more attention to their lessons such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
as
in some countries Change preposition
For
they
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
free education to encourage young people to be educated and learn the best quality of knowledge to prevent Correct article usage
apply
the
ignorance.
Another salutation, universities could offer some job experience for some student to develop their skills with their career in the future. Academies Correct article usage
apply
also
can make
Verb problem
apply
communication
with some companies to offer them some of their Replace the word
communicate
students
to work
with them after finishing their degree that
would help Correct pronoun usage
This
students
not to work
during their study
and they will Fix the agreement mistake
studies
success
Replace the word
succeed
their
Change preposition
in their
study
with Fix the agreement mistake
studies
a
high Correct article usage
apply
score
.
In sumFix the agreement mistake
scores
up
, some Change preposition
apply
students
could study
as part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
students
to decrease the lack of time
management and stress during their study
and financial assistance could help them either. University
could encourage Add an article
The university
A university
students
to attend their classes and provide them jobs in the facilities that may help students
to get quality of learning and experience.Submitted by hsmkashi on
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Introduction clarity
To enhance your essay, aim for a more structured introduction that clearly outlines the causes and suggested solutions. Your introduction currently lacks a precise roadmap for the reader.
Paragraph Structure
In your main body paragraphs, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For instance, dedicate one paragraph to discussing the causes and another to solutions. This enhances comprehension and flow.
Linking Words
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, use 'Consequently,' 'Furthermore,' and 'As a result,' to better connect your ideas.
Supporting Examples
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While you mention financial aid, scholarships, and part-time studies, giving real-life instances or statistics will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Conclusion
To improve task achievement, ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay. Your current conclusion ('In sum up') is somewhat abrupt and could be more detailed.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and aim to use a range of sentence structures to demonstrate your linguistic capability. This will also make your essay more engaging to read.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.