some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many individuals think that working hard and determination will lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
success
in life, while
the
others think that Correct article usage
apply
the
factors like Correct article usage
apply
money
and appearance are more important. This
writer believes in the former opinion because of
hard Change preposition
apply
work
is a key to success
and will discuss both views in this
writing essay.
On the one hand, hard work
is an important reason lead
to be successful. It must be acknowledged that when Verb problem
apply
people
work
hard, they just focus on what they are doing and they will work
effectively. Due to
it
, they can gain more respect from their colleagues and their bosses and increase their opportunities to get Correct pronoun usage
this
promotion
. Take students at school as an example, the students who Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
working
hard will gain good grades and these students will get the respect Change the form of the verb
work
from
their teachers and their friends. Change preposition
of
This
benefit is the basement of success
in their future.
On the other hand
, the
factors Correct article usage
apply
such
as money
or outlook also
bring success
in individual’s
future. The way Correct article usage
an individual’s
people
look will help them to have the first impression from other people
. These people
will assess through
their appearance and decide Change preposition
apply
to
make Correct word choice
whether to
friend
with them or not. Take Fix the agreement mistake
friends
businessman
as an example, these Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
people
often spend a large amount of money
to take care of them selves
to become more fashionable and professional. Correct your spelling
themselves
Due to
it
, their counterparts base Correct pronoun usage
this
on
how they look and Correct pronoun usage
their on
then
decide to give some advices
to Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
work
with.
To conclude
, most of
successful Change preposition
apply
people
are hardworking and this
character helps them to become a
rich and successful. Correct article usage
apply
However
, the
factors like Correct article usage
apply
money
and outlook also
bring benefits so people
have to balance these character
to be successful in Replace the word
characteristics
their
future.Change the word
the
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task achievement
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task achievement
Focus on clarifying and elaborating your ideas. Some points you've made could benefit from further explanation to ensure they are fully understood by the reader.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?