Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #hardwork #determination #factors #money #appearance

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years,

success

Use synonyms

has become a broad issue. Many individuals believe that

success

Use synonyms

in life comes from working hard and effort

while

Linking Words

others think that poverty and

appearance

Use synonyms

are more important factors.

This

Linking Words

writer gravitates

Correct your spelling

the idea that

success

Use synonyms

in life comes from hard

work

Use synonyms

and

determination

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, it is widely acknowledged that

work

Use synonyms

hard and

determination

Use synonyms

play a vital role in

success

Use synonyms

in life. A very important point to consider is that many jobs nowadays encourage the

determination

Use synonyms

of workers.

This

Linking Words

means that when the country is growing, the amount of

work

Use synonyms

will increase.

Consequently

Linking Words

, many large companies like Microsoft and Space X often recruit employees who are

hard – working

Correct your spelling

hard–working

show examples

and determined.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are several arguments in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the idea that poverty and

appearance

Use synonyms

are more important. It is

also

Linking Words

convincing that money and good

appearance

Use synonyms

help you to have a good starter or

work

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because you can learn experience from higher level people when you have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

appearance

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, you can get a promotion in the future. In conclusion, the aforementioned facts have created a dilemma when people evaluate the impact of

this

Linking Words

issue, and it is still a controversial issue. As far as I am concerned, recruitment should encourage

determination

Use synonyms

and hard

work

Use synonyms

when they hire more staff.

Tue Mar 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure your essay has a clear overall structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points and use linking words to help the reader understand how your ideas connect.

coherence cohesion

You can enhance the logical structure by planning your essay before you start writing. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all ideas within the paragraph support that main idea.

coherence cohesion

For your introduction and conclusion, clearly state the topic and your opinion in the introduction, and summarise your main points and restate your opinion in the conclusion.

task achievement

To boost your task achievement score, ensure your essay fully answers all parts of the question. Include a detailed discussion of both views and your own opinion.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively by explaining why certain points support your argument and how they relate to the question.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant specifics and examples to support your arguments. This will provide evidence for your claims and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
commitment
achievement
legendary figures
humble beginnings
sheer will
financial resources
societal perceptions
intrinsic qualities
extrinsic factors
advantageous circumstances
nuanced perspective
financial stability
societal biases
dynamics

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want exitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree?
Trend of using day-off in recreational activities is rising day by day as many trourist guide finds a drop in number of people who want to enjoy vacation in other places away from home. i will find the former approach very useful and will discuss its significance in upcoming paragraph.
8
band
You have unexpectedly come into a large sum of money and you want to share this good news with your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain where the money came from say what you intend to do with the money invite your friend to celebrate your good fortune.
I hope you are in good health. I am so excited to share this news with you that I got a huge amount of money.
6
band
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
Although women account for more than 50 per cent of the workforce in developed nations, a number of managerial positions are still occupied by men. Some believe that a certain proportion of these vacancies should be allocated to females. This essay, however, strongly disagrees with this statement because this can discourage qualified men to work hard, and such a policy can encourage organisations to find some wrong ways to outsmart the system.
5
band
Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's generation, there are some individuals who love to live a life full of adventures; therefore to accomplish their goals, some take part in extreme activities including skydiving, rock climibing , river rafting etc. Few believe that these sports are dangerous and should be banned. Although there are arguments on both sides but I strongly feel that ban is not fair for some individuals who are professionally trained to participate.
5
band
Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?
A vast majority of cities are constucting residental zones by constructing high-rise buildings, while others creating housing by houses which is located on a wider area of land. Skyscrapers better, as they provided services which can help individuals to save their time and money, while individual place of residence requires a good amount of attention.

Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want exitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree?

You have unexpectedly come into a large sum of money and you want to share this good news with your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain where the money came from say what you intend to do with the money invite your friend to celebrate your good fortune.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?