Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #facebook #zalo #impact #individuals #society

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this

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contemporary society, most

people

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use Social Network Services

such

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as Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter. Concerning

this

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issue, some

people

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are of the opinion that these are affect on personally and even our society. I only partly endorse

this

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view and will explain in detail my viewpoint

further

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this

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essay. Undoubtedly, there are some noteworthy reasons why some

people

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think that using Internet services has positive effects on our community. First and foremost, one of the representative reasons is that networking services provide diverse data. If

people

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have a travelling plan, they can browse popular restaurants, the weather and social issues.

Due to

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this

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reason, finding data is easier than in the past.

Secondly

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people

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can communicate with various

people

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by using SNS systems

such

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as Direct Message, iMessage, and Zoom. In the company, they can do video conferencing with their co-workers who working in other countries.

On the other hand

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, there are some pessimistic

people

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with

this

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view mentioned above. The most reasonable one is that diverse networking sites contain violent and sexual content. So when children access

this

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visual information, it has a negative influence on their mental health.

Secondly

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, when some

people

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addicted

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are addicted

show examples

to the Internet, it

effects

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affects

show examples

people

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's social interactions.

Last

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but not least,

people

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waste their time. In a nutshell, weighing up both sides of the argument,

although

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it influences

people

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's mental problems, I strongly believe that SNS have effects in positive ways

such

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as massive information, wide communication, and education.

Submitted by wowoo04066 on Tue Mar 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure, which is great. However, to further improve, make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the paragraph’s main idea. Linking words are used, but you could benefit from a wider range and more precise usage of these to enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay. While you did present a personal viewpoint, making it more prominent from the introduction could strengthen your argument. Additionally, directly addressing the question 'to what extent do you agree or disagree?' in your conclusion could make your stance clearer to the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extent do you agree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

in some countries, more and more people are becoming intrested in finding out about the history of the houses or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

in some countries , owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negetive situation

Many people believe that formal 'pen and paper' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.