IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The effective way to reduce industrial pollution is to tax the companies that cause them. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

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Climate change has been in a critical state for decades.
Moreover
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, many human activities worsen the problem,
such
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 as
pollution
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 from industrial factories and the use of natural gasses, causing people to believe in taxing these actions for a solution.
This
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 essay will present why I support the
pollution
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tax
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 to help global warming. Nowadays, factories are the main cause of gas
pollution
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. With the trend of electric vehicles at an all-time high, the industry is breaking records in the production of batteries and car parts.
Furthermore
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, the production of these components releases many toxic chemicals into the atmosphere. What’s more, these gasses damage the ozone layer, which is the main cause of global warming.
Moreover
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, these gases result in acidic rains, water
pollution
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, and air
pollution
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 in the surrounding areas. These manufacturers should be taxed progressively to reduce
pollution
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. The
tax
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 should consider the amount of
pollution
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 released
along with
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 other factors.
For example
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, factories in Europe have to submit a yearly carbon credit record.
In addition
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, if it exceeds the regulated amount, the company will have to pay fines.
This
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 resulted in the decline of toxic gas emissions in Europe.
Furthermore
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, the implementation of
this
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tax
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 law will certainly lower the
pollution
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 released in years to come. All in all, raising the
tax
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 on polluted gas emissions will help the environment in the long run.
To sum up
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, taxing industrial companies is one of many solutions for climate change. On top of that, it’s beneficial for us to take care of the environment. As a community, we should come together to help solve global warming and participate in making the world a better place.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which clearly presents the topic and summarizes your main points effectively. This has helped in achieving a good score for 'introduction and conclusion present'. To improve further, consider adding a brief outline of the points you will discuss in the introduction to guide the reader more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay in a logical order, which made it easy to follow. To enhance your 'logical structure' score, try to transition more smoothly between paragraphs with linking phrases that explicitly signal the relationship between ideas and paragraphs (e.g., 'Additionally,' 'Consequently,').
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has supported the main points fairly well with examples and explanations. However, to improve your 'supported main points' score, integrate more varied and detailed examples to substantiate your arguments even further. This can include statistical data, research findings, or specific case studies related to the topic.
Task Achievement
You have presented a complete response to the task, covering all aspects of the prompt effectively which reflects in the high 'complete response' score. For further improvement, ensure that every argument made is directly linked to how it answers the question asked, reinforcing the relevance of your points to the task.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to understand your perspective. To elevate your 'clear comprehensive ideas' score further, refine your argument's complexity by considering opposing viewpoints and explaining why your perspective holds more weight or how it could be balanced with alternate views.
Task Achievement
The essay contains relevant examples, but to improve your 'relevant specific examples' score, aim to include examples that are more diverse and detailed. This could involve citing specific instances where taxes on pollution have led to positive environmental outcomes or comparing different regions/countries to illustrate your points more vividly.
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