IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the graph below show information about the hotel staff from 1975 to 2010

the graph below show information about the hotel staff from 1975 to 2010
The above graph presents data regarding the proportion of hotel
employees
Use synonyms
 classified
according to
Linking Words
 different qualifications between the years 1975 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the table makes it clear that, in 2010, the percentage of persons who could speak two or more languages was at the top of the list with 79, but in 1975, only 5% of hotel
employees
Use synonyms
 had language proficiency. Examining the specifics, 78% of the
employees
Use synonyms
 who had prior work experience stated that their share was highest in 1985,
while
Linking Words
 45% of the workers placed lowest
overall
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
employees
Use synonyms
 with linguistic preferences made up the same percentage of the workforce in 1995 and 2005—21%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
employees
Use synonyms
 who spoke more than one language and held different employment levels both adhered to the same pattern, with a proportion of just 50%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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