IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned from the city centre. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free days. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Due to
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 the massive
use
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 of automobiles in modern society, some cities established car-free
days
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 to persuade the masses to
use
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 public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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.
This
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 essay will demonstrate that the merits are massive. Undoubtedly, there are several causes of why car-free
days
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 have a demerit.
By using
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Using
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 transportation
instead
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 of private
cars
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will give up some freedom and flexibility.
In particular
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, modern people will lose the option of hopping in the car and driving wherever they want at a moment's notice.
Also
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, in an emergency case, people need to
use
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 their private
cars
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 to travel in the middle of the night or long
distance
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distances
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. In spite of the above opinions, I contend that there are compelling reasons why vehicle-free
days
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 have more merits.
To begin
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 with, by not using our own
cars
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 it will help to alleviate the pollution. Specifically, the
use
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 of public transport
instead
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 of private vehicles causes less pollution since it produces less car fumes.
Secondly
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, car-free
days
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 lead to
reducing
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reduced
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 traffic jams. Since most individuals tend to
use
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 their own private
cars
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 in their daily lives it will create traffic jams and road packs.
Thus
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, it is good to
use
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 public transport so that everyone can not face the problem of roads blocked by traffic.
Furthermore
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, it will save us money. In general, using a car requires lots of expenses for fuel,
repairing
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repair
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, maintenance costs, etc. In a nutshell, even though there are disadvantages of vehicle-free policies since
it
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they
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limits
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limit
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 the convenience for individuals, I think there are countless advantages since it is not only eco-friendly but
also
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connects
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connect
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 to saving money.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt in a comprehensive manner. While you've presented a balanced view, make sure every paragraph directly links back to how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as per the essay question.
Task Achievement
Use more diverse and specific examples to support your points more effectively. This will help strengthen your argument and provide a clearer understanding of your stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between paragraphs and within paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. This can be done through the use of linking phrases and clearer thematic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, ensure they are fully developed. Consider stating your main argument more clearly in your introduction and summarizing your key points more succinctly in your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
To further improve coherence, try to integrate your examples more seamlessly into your argument. This includes explaining how each example directly supports your stance in relation to the essay question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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