IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In recent, the social
era
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 has encouraged numerous
businesses
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 to increase their
business
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 at their peak. In today's
era
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, several
businesses
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 showcase their items in
such
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 a way as to overwhelm the product and brand name. I believe it stands for positive development. One reason why I stand with the given statement, nowadays many
businesses
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 prefer to promote their products on social media like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube etc.
Therefore
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, The reason firms have
been
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apply
show examples
moved from primary marketing like word of mouth to social media is because the whole generational
era
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 is available there.
For example
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, A
business
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 named ' Boat', was recently showcased on a television show called Indian Shart Tank. The owner of Boat mentioned that after that television show his sales went up to 100x,
although
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, he levelled up the face of his products and brand to attract new customers by showing innovation through marketing. Another reason why I think
this
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 statement is true,
that
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is that
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businesses
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 have enhanced their marketing production team. In the modern
era
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, it requires getting into new creative strategies nowadays, firms need to know when to showcase the right product on social
according to
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 customer desire, the customers will be only willing to buy that specific product.
For example
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, if someone is thirsty
then
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 the ads
in
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on
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 their phone shall be related to juices, water, milkshakes etc.
Furthermore
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, Instagram has captured
this
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 feature and it has benefited multiple
businesses
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. Since
,
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apply
show examples
 other platforms are
also
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 working on
this
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 feature. In conclusion, I believe in today's
era
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 it has become far easier to expand a
business
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 through social either it is small-scale or large large-scale
business
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. In future, the marketing level will be outstanding once every platform provides a feature of when to show things
according to
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 customer demand.

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task achievement
The essay should clearly identify the reasons why businesses emphasize that their products are new, and fully develop these points with relevant explanations and examples.
language
Some minor grammar and vocabulary issues need to be addressed. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of singular and plural forms.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical structure by clearly defining and connecting the main points. Transitions between ideas could be smoother for better readability.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of 'Boat' and 'Indian Shark Tank', to support main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and they encapsulate the main idea of the essay well.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide comprehensive and clear ideas about the topic, explaining the reasons and potential developments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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