IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are preparing an outdoors event. Write a letter to your friend to ask for help with the arrangements. In your letter include: what the event is why the event will happen how your friend can help you

#event #friend #arrangements
Dear Annie , I hope you're doing well ! I'm writing
this
 letter to
asking
Change the verb form
ask
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 for your help in serving food to children who
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 afford
two time
Add a hyphen
two-time
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meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 in a day. The name of the event is " Remove Hunger" and it is organised by a few
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
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 of members
in
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society . It is starting on April 6 to April 8 . In
this
 ,a large quantity of food will be prepared in the
begininng
Correct your spelling
beginning
 which include rice,
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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 and soda
as well as
 served
in
Change preposition
on
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a eco-friendly plates
Correct the article-noun agreement
an eco-friendly plate
eco-friendly plates
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 to all children who are homeless and can't afford food on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis. The event will be happening to save humanity in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and get rid of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hunger .
This
 is the first step taken towards it and hope more in the future.
Although
 , You're busy in your daily life
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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with your small time we can serve
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of kids and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 know you're waiting for
this
 moment in which you can do something for our community. I hope
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
I will see you
in
Change preposition
at
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this
 event and don't forget to
brings
Change the verb
bring
show examples
 kids with you ,they
also
 feel proud
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our society. Please let me know as soon as possible. Best wishes, Roopkamal kaur.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure all components of the task are addressed directly. While you've mentioned the event and its purpose, you could elaborate more on how exactly your friend can assist, specifying certain tasks or roles they could take on.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use paragraphs to structure your letter clearly. Opening the letter with a brief introduction, following with a paragraph about the event, another on its purpose, and finally one on how your friend can help would strengthen your letter.
Coherence & Cohesion
Mind your punctuation and spelling, and use varied sentence structures to convey your points more effectively. This will not only make your letter more readable but also demonstrate your command of the language.
Task Achievement
Maintain a suitable tone throughout your letter. Considering the context - writing to a friend for help - a balanced approach of formal and informal tones would enhance your communication.
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