IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused is? What solution can be suggested?

It is unquestionably that
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate is
increased in
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 all around the world. Many of the
youngsters
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 involved in recent years. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 the nation and
solution
Correct pronoun usage
its solution
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of
Change preposition
to
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 it is analysed in
subsequent
Add an article
the subsequent
a subsequent
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 paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most of the crimes
done
Add a missing verb
are done
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 by juveniles because may they have not sufficient
education
Use synonyms
 for employment. To elaborate
it
Change preposition
on it
show examples
, higher
education
Use synonyms
 is required for
better
Add an article
a better
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 job, but some of the students
are
Verb problem
have
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 completed their basic studies and
also
Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have family responsibilities
that is
Linking Words
 why they committed
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 because they need to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their family requirements.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
,
surrounding
Add an article
the surrounding
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 environment is
also
Linking Words
 considerable for involved in
crime
Use synonyms
. To explain
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 community is a major reason for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults to become
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
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 because
youngsters
Use synonyms
 can easily influenced by their friends, if
youngsters
Use synonyms
 's friends are already involved in criminal activities
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is more possibilities to
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Thus
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,
crime
Use synonyms
 is done by juveniles nowadays.
However
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, some solutions
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
lso
Correct your spelling
also
 available
for
Change preposition
to
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 mitigate the problems
such
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 as the
government
Use synonyms
 should introduce
government
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 by campaign. To explain in detail, most of the students are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
government
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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which is giving
Wrong verb form
that give
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 free
education
Use synonyms
 to students with
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 technology but they are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 it, so
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should give them knowledge about the laws and
also
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 give some advice to make a distance between
bad
Add an article
the bad
show examples
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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.
Therefore
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, mitigate some
crime
Use synonyms
 by upper
advise
Replace the word
advice
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. In conclusion, some of the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngsters
Use synonyms
are committed
Wrong verb form
commit
show examples
 crimes
such
Linking Words
 as lack of
education
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 some of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 available for it
such
Linking Words
 as
government
Use synonyms
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
 and introducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools.

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introduction conclusion present
One of the key ways to improve your score is to ensure you have a clear introduction and a conclusion that restates your main points and your stance on the issue. Make sure the conclusion succinctly encapsulates your argument and solutions.
supported main points
While you have laid out some main points, they need to be supported with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. Refer to studies, statistics, or hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your points.
complete response
Work on providing a comprehensive response by thoroughly answering all parts of the question. Make sure to clearly state the causes of the issue in one paragraph, followed by possible solutions in another, ensuring each part is fully developed.
logical structure
To improve coherence, aim for a more logical flow of ideas. This can be achieved through better planning before writing. Organize your essay in clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point or idea. Use connecting words to smooth the transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
To achieve clearer and more comprehensive ideas, focus on developing each point fully before moving on to the next. Avoid making broad generalizations. Instead, narrow down your focus and elaborate on your ideas with detailed explanations and examples.
relevant specific examples
Including more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments will significantly improve your score. Think about drawing on a wide range of sources for your examples, including personal experience, current events, or well-known studies.
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