IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media _rich society.

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It is believed that online
media
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 has impacted our lives to a great extent and it has become nearly impossible to get rid
off
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of
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 its impact.
While
Linking Words
 there are many benefits of online social networking, its drawbacks can be overlooked.
This
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 essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of the same in the subsequent paragraphs. Diverse points endorse the benefits
for
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of
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 the aforementioned
phenonmenon
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phenomenon
. The principal among all is that
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social networking
websites
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, people nowadays are more updated about the happenings of the world. Since the internet has gained popularity, the influx of social
websites
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 can be noticed. The need to have conventional newspapers for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global news has reduced significantly as the internet can be accessed in any smart advice.
Furthermore
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, more and more people are using these networks for various purposes
such
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 as business,
adverts
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advertising
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 and entertainment.
For instance
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, Facebook is used by millions of people to sell or purchase goods
by
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through
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 its Marketplace feature, as affordable and reasonable stuff can be found there.
Therefore
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, social
media
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 not only
keep
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keeps
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 folks updated
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 helps in selling and purchasing. As every coin has two sides, social
media
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 service has some drawbacks too. Primarily, families no longer share the same cordial bond because they are more connected virtually rather than physically. Distant relationships are
loosing
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losing
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 the essence of love and care like earlier when
they
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there
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 was no technology and relatives used to meet physically every now and
then
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.
Besides
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this
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, spending time on social
media
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 is ruining the young minds. Youngsters have developed
the
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an
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 addiction towards some porn
websites
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due to
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 online social networks where these
websites
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 are shared on
regular
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a regular
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 basis.
Thus
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, individuals have become more careless towards each other and youth
is
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are
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 getting distracted
due to
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 the influence of
media
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.
To conclude
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, it can inferred that no doubt, online networking is beneficial as getting
the
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apply
show examples
information about the world and buying new things have become convenient.
Nonetheless
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, its disadvantages
such
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 as
involvement
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the involvement
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 of adults in porn sites and
distance
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the distance
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 between relationships can not be ignored.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly define the topic and your stance in the introduction. While your introduction mentions the influence of media, a clearer thesis statement summarizing the advantages and disadvantages would strengthen your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to connect ideas more smoothly. While your essay has a logical flow, varying your transitional phrases can enhance readability and coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your argument and make your writing more engaging to the reader.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While you've offered examples, adding more detail or statistics could make your argument more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • media-rich society
  • information overload
  • public opinion
  • social connectivity
  • geographical distances
  • shape public opinion
  • information access
  • privacy concerns
  • digital platforms
  • information dependency
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