Task 2 Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate about whether the government should prioritize educational funding or invest more heavily in recreational
activities
for young people
. While
I agree that leisure activities
play an essential role in the development
of the youth, I firmly believe that education
should remain the top priority for government spending. In this
essay, I will elaborate on why education
is crucial while
acknowledging the benefits of free-time activities
.
To begin
with, education
is the foundation upon which a prosperous society is built. By investing in education
, government equip young people
with the skills
and knowledge necessary to succeed in the workforce and contribute to the nation’s economic growth.Educated individuals are more likely to find stable employment, innovate, and improve their quality of life. For instance
, countries like Finland, which have heavily invested in education
, boast high literacy rates and a thriving economy.Therefore
, ensuring that all children have access to quality education
should be the government’s primary concern.
Moreover
, education
fosters critical thinking, problem-solving skills
, and decision-making skills
, all of which are essential in an increasingly complex world.These abilities are indispensable not only for personal development
but also
for the advancement of society.Governments that prioritize education
lay the groundwork for future leaders and innovators who can address global challenges, such
as climate change and economic inequality.
However
, it is also
important to recognize the value of free-time activities
for young people
. Engaging in sports, music, or other hobbies is crucial for a child’s mental and physical well-being. Overemphasis on academics without allowing time for relaxation and creativity can lead to burnout, anxiety , and lack of motivation. For example
, studies have shown that children who participate in extracurricular activities
perform better academically because these activities
provide a healthy outlet for stress and encourage a balanced lifestyle. Furthermore
, leisure activities
help develop essential life skills
such
as teamwork, communication, and time management. These soft skills
are not always taught in the classroom but are highly sought after in the professional world. Countries that incorporate sports and arts into their educational systems, such
as Japan and Korea, produce well-rounded individuals who excel both academically and socially.
In conclusion, while
free-time activities
are undeniably important for the holistic development
of young people
, education
should remain a top priority for public authorities spending. A well-educated population is the key to a nation’s long-term success, but allocating some resources to recreational activities
can ensure a balanced approach to youth development
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Coherence & Cohesion
Provide clear topic sentences in paragraphs to better guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support points, possibly providing statistics or study results.
Language Use
Ensure varied and complex sentence structures for an even higher score in language use.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument and justifies the stance with well-developed reasons.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical structure and flow of the essay is clear, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The inclusion of specific country examples like Finland, Japan, and Korea effectively supports the argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.