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Band 5

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
Since
Change preposition
For
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ages
Add a comma
ages,
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 it has been observed and believed that any kind of monetary assistance leads to betterment
nd
Correct your spelling
and
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 upliftment of society. Where it
is firmly believe
Change the verb form
is firmly believed
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 that individuals should provide financial support by donating a fixed portion of their remuneration for community welfare. I have a firm conviction about
this
 and I strongly concur with
this
 view.
To begin
 with,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of the people in the society are underprivileged
who
Correct word choice
and
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 can hardly earn enough to meet up kind of basic livelihood expenses. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, continuous inflation has made it mostly impossible for
this
 class of society to afford any kind of primary amenities so
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
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done
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in any form will not only provide financial help but
also
 make their life stable.
Subsequently
, these people can avail the benefits like any other class of
socity
Correct your spelling
society
,
atleast upto thie
Correct your spelling
at least up to their
 requirements.
Furthermore
, unpredicted hardships
such
 as
nutural
Correct your spelling
natural
 calamities lead to tremendous
loose
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lose
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 of lives and properties that
creates
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create
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imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
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 in many
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
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. So in order to overcome
this
 loss collective, efforts are required and if it
is helps
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helps
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 to stabilize by providing support for constructing facilities like transportation, medication
nd
Correct your spelling
and
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 accommodation for the sufferers. To exemplify it, in
year
Change the article
the year
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 2000 Japan was affected by an enormous flood which
got
Verb problem
was
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 balanced in the form of funding. To contradict, mandatorily imposing
this
 on earners can turn out to be
burden
Add an article
a burden
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 on their financial condition. To put into other words,
instead
 of providing a share
from
Change preposition
of
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 their salary to someone they can
do
Verb problem
make
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 minor
saving
Replace the word
savings
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 for themselves on
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
the smaller
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 basis which will turn out to be quite advantageous during any unexpected situations either ls themselves or for any family member or close ones. To conculde,
according to
Change preposition
in
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me
Correct pronoun usage
my
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 if charity from wages
implemented
Add a missing verb
is implemented
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 it can turn out to be
Correct article usage
a distrubance
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distrubance
Correct your spelling
disturbance
 of financial planning for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 but more and greater
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 can be
archive
Correct your spelling
achieved
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 by helping people living under
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line and
recover
Wrong verb form
recovering
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 the damage caused by natural desasters.
Submitted by jankibrahmbhatt2411 on

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task achievement
Focus on clarifying your main points and ensure each paragraph distinctly supports your view without repetition or deviation.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow and cohesiveness across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly present your stance and summarize main points; this is achieved but can be further refined.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your arguments, which will enhance your task achievement score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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