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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #jobs #housework #men
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In the modern world, several
women
 have full-time jobs. That’s why
housework
 is equally separate between
women
 and
men
; it’s considered a debatable topic. Specifically,
this
 topic even grows more significantly when it comes to
women
’s jobs and their work lives. Some people claim that
women’s
Change noun form
women
show examples
 ought to stay at home and care for their children and do the
housework
;
however
, others believe that
women’s
Change noun form
women
show examples
 and
men’s
Change noun form
men
show examples
 are equal when it comes to girls and boys having the same rights
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 business. I concur with the first debatable topic for several reasons.
To begin
 with, without a shadow of a doubt,
women
 and
men
 should work together
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
housework
. To illustrate, when the woman comes home earlier than the man—if they have a baby—she has to spend leisure time with her child or she can contribute to
housework
. The same thing goes for
men
.
According to
 a journal that I read, some experts assume that the separation between
women
 and
men
 prevents divorce.
Moreover
, it keeps the relationship between them healthy and beneficial.
In addition
 to
this
, I strongly disagree with the people who say that
women
 don’t need to have a
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
 as long as they have a child who will be responsible for toddlers.
Therefore
, if the job takes up to 8 to 9 hours per day, as I said in the beginning, they have to take on some responsibilities and establish order among themselves, and sometimes one of them will work online if it’s necessary. In conclusion, I strongly agree that they both have the same rights and freedom. As long as it’s really necessary, they need to find the solution so there won’t be any damaging or detrimental problems.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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coherence cohesion
Firstly, ensure that your essay has a clear structure: an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This layout helps to organize thoughts and present them logically.
coherence cohesion
Address the prompt directly in your introduction and clearly state your position. This forms a strong foundation for your essay and guides your reader through your argument.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with specific examples and explanations. The use of research, data, or personal experiences can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Review grammar and punctuation as errors can distract from the clarity of your argument. Accurate language helps to convey your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Strive for clarity in your writing. Avoid overly complex sentences or terminology that might confuse the reader. Simple, clear language can often communicate your ideas more powerfully.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your position on the topic. A strong conclusion leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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