Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

To live a standard

life

, a person has to be physically healthy. A more important effect of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

public welfare is to

increasing

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

sport related

Add a hyphen

sport-related

show examples

facilities

. Others believe that

this

is inadequate, there are other factors which can be helpful to our

health

This

essay discusses both views and explains why sports

facilities

affect our physical lives. Everyone in the world wants to be healthy in their

life

. The more important effect of public welfare is to increase the number of sport-related

facilities

For example

, the government should add sports equipment or clubs so that the public will participate which helps people's

health

Moreover

, They can do more exercise and yoga which

avoid

Correct subject-verb agreement

avoids

show examples

physical disease.

For example

, people can bring exercise tools into their homes and share their equipment with others.

In addition

, I strongly believe that we should put emphasis on the government to improve folks' physical lives. Others believe that if we focus on our eating

life

, can be beneficial to our

health

However

, we consider that more fruits or vegetables can be harmful in physical

life

because sometimes they can bring

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

insects or bacteria.

For example

the story of J.K Wolling

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

a single mother, once

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

brought

Correct your spelling

bought

show examples

a few apples from the market,

Correct word choice

and when

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when

Correct word choice

and when

show examples

they ate a few months they had cancer.

Furthermore

, we can ask to doctor or specialist who can help in our food nutrition

life

. In conclusion, we should give more attention to our sport related

facilities

and improve our physical

health

In addition

, we should tell the government so that they pay attention to them.

Moreover

, improve our eating

life

as well as

should

Verb problem

apply

show examples

avoid junk food that harms our

health

Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on Wed Mar 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points and ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on connecting ideas more smoothly and coherently. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences should be smooth and show a clear connection between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Continue to include an introduction and conclusion, but make sure they succinctly summarize the discussion and your stance clearly.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task. It's important to discuss both views and your own opinion clearly and in detail.

task achievement

Aim for clear and comprehensive presentation of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.

task achievement

Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Ensure your examples convincingly back up your points and relate closely to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

The private car has greatly improved individual freedom of movement and has become a status symbol for many people. Yet the use of private cars has contributed to some of today's most serious problems. How can the use of private cars be reduced?

Space exploration cost taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.