New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages. Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Nowadays, we are living in the modern era where new
technologies
has
been changing our life day by day. Especially in the way Change the verb form
have
children
spend their free time. And from my point of view, I believe that this
situation bring
more harm than good.
Change the verb form
brings
Firstly
, it is undeniable that with the exploration of technology
our life become more and more convenient. Add a comma
technology,
For example
, with the development of some social networking sites such
as Facebooke
, Instagram on Twitter we are able Correct your spelling
Facebook
te
contact and interact with each other easily. Correct your spelling
to
Moreover
, through some application
for study, Fix the agreement mistake
applications
student
can study online at home Add an article
the student
a student
instead
of going to school, and increase their study productivity. However
, new technologies
still have bright site
and dark Fix the agreement mistake
sites
site
, especially in the way Fix the agreement mistake
sites
children
spend their free time.Because children
are not mature to
have Rephrase
enough to
the
self-control and know the way to use these Correct article usage
apply
technologies
correctly.
Secondly
, many children
now have
tend to stay at home and Unnecessary verb
apply
be
addicted to Verb problem
become
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
instead
of participating some
outdoor activities. Change preposition
in some
As a result
, this
situation had
brought Unnecessary verb
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
children
some troubles about
physical and mental health. Change preposition
with
For example
, without the
exercise Correct article usage
apply
children
become more and more vulnerable and get diseases easily. Moreover
, with technologies
,students Fix the agreement mistake
technology
have
tend to depend on it. Unnecessary verb
apply
For instance
, they use google
or some artificial intelligence application to find out the answer Capitalize word
Google
instead
of work
by Wrong verb form
working
themselve
, and Correct your spelling
themselves
lead
to bad Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
of
studying.
In conclusion, new Change preposition
in
technologies
have both advantages and disadvantages. However
, for children
who are not mature enough
I believe it brings more harm than good. Add a comma
enough,
Therefore
, it is necessary for parents and schools to take part in teaching and monitoring students as well as
children
to teach them how to use it effectively and take advantage of it.Submitted by ntl250605 on
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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should provide an overview of the topic and your position. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported with examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your position.
cohesion
Work on your essay's coherence by using linking words and phrases effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
When presenting your argument, be sure to address the task directly. This means explicitly discussing the advantages and disadvantages as asked in the prompt. Additionally, ensure your position (whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa) is clear throughout the essay, not just at the end.
examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. While you mentioned technology's impact on physical and mental health, providing more detailed examples or statistics can strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly. For instance, correct the spelling of 'Facebook' and 'Instagram', and make sure you are using the correct verb tenses and plural forms of words.