somepeople thnkthat success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others thinks that ther are more important factors such as money and appearance. dicuss both view

this

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ambitious world, money is trending. Indeed, people are being evaluated based on their wealth. Some believe that working hard in life will eventually make you successful,

while

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others ,

on the contrary

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, believe that it is ; about being wealthy and having good looks.

While

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both views are logical, in my opinion, hard work is the key to becoming powerful. In the

Correct your spelling

upcoming forthcoming

upcomingforthcoming

Correct your spelling

upcoming

paragraphs,

this

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essay will elaborate more on both views by exemplifying lucid examples working hard with a lot of ambition will eventually be the reason for reaching your goals. But

this

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needs lots of patience.

For example

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, students usually finish university willing to start working. There are those who work hard to reach their goals rather than give up.

Moreover

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, we often listen to successful businessmen, how they started their careers which they do not admire, but ended up being so wealthy and relating

this

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to their dedication and a lot of determination until they

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

their passion

Furthermore

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, there are some who believe money is everything in a lie, it could make you famous and well-known.

In addition

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to being wealthy being good-looking

also

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leads you to the same.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

is somehow correct, in point of view there is much less chance of

this

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. In view of

this

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, we rarely see a wealthy human who reaches their goal without being dedicated or

whereas

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without working brutally before reaching

this

Linking Words

Besides

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, being affluent without working will eventually lead to failure. Take an example,

a businessmen

Correct the article-noun agreement

businessmen

a businessman

show examples

will never succeed only being rich.

To sum up

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, everything mentioned and both views are all keys to reaching what you want. But in my opinion, it is all about passion and dedication rather than being goog-looking without working hard to succeed

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Mar 27, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Focus on adopting a clear structure which includes an introduction, at least two body paragraphs each addressing a separate view, followed by a conclusion. This will help in enhancing the logical flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on presenting your main ideas more clearly by dividing them clearly between paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the idea you will discuss.

task achievement

Support your main points with more specific, detailed examples. The examples should clearly demonstrate the point you're making and be relevant to the topic.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure your argument is presented as clearly and professionally as possible. Misplaced or missing punctuation, and spelling errors can detract from the clarity and impact of your writing.

task achievement

Address the question fully by discussing both views presented in the prompt and by making your position clear. Make sure to conclude with your own opinion, summarizing the points made throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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somepeople thnkthat success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others thinks that ther are more important factors such as money and appearance. dicuss both view

Your opinion

Some people think that companies and supermarkets should use less packaging for their products. Others say that customers themselves should avoid buying products with too much packaging.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.

Nowadays human activities have had negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem while others argue that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that workers have worked in a company for long years should be promoted. What is your opinion.

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?