**At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.** **Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?**
There are ongoing discourse on whether large populations of young
adults
is
better than Correct subject-verb agreement
are
the
Correct article usage
a
number
of older people
. Some might think the number
of older people
is better than a large number
of young adults
. However
, I feel compelled to the idea that there are more advantages of the situation where increasing of younger generation
than others.
First of all, arising
young Correct your spelling
raising
adults
generations encourages individuals to enhance the quality of lives. In response to the decreasing Change the noun form
adult
number
of birth rates, many expert opinions and research statistics reinforce the idea that supporting increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
number
of young adults
enables individuals to find satisfaction in their lives. For instance
, during
taking care of Change preposition
while
baby
to growing up, parents can realize Add an article
the baby
a baby
value
of family relationships, contributing to Add an article
the value
find
genuine Change the verb form
finding
fulfillment
in their Change the spelling
fulfilment
live
. Another reason that increasing of younger Replace the word
lives
generation
would be advantageous is that it would help economic growth. Younger adults
can develop their skills or discover new technologies, contributing to enhance
good effects on capitalism.
On the other Change the verb form
enhancing
hands
, there are disadvantages Fix the agreement mistake
hand
of
a large Change preposition
to
number
of young adults
. Younger
Add an article
The younger
generation
are
not fully Change the verb form
is
skillful
in many Change the spelling
skilful
perspective
, Change the noun form
perspectives
such
as business manner
or living one’s life compared to older Fix the agreement mistake
manners
people
, individuals need to take a
time and learn to be Correct article usage
apply
best
version of themselves. Change the article
the best
Moreover
, by rising a
Correct article usage
the
number
of younger people
, generation
gaps can arise one
of Change preposition
as one
social
issues among Add an article
the social
people
, leading to miscommunication between young and older people
.
In conclusion, the advantage of a population with a higher number
of young adults
offer
opportunities to enjoy a better quality of Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
lives
and develop economic perspectives.Fix the agreement mistake
life
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task achievement
Develop and support your main points. Although you outlined the advantages and disadvantages, further supporting details and concrete examples to back up your points would make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more cohesive links between ideas. Using a wider range of linking words and clear topic sentences can help improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Strive for greater clarity and specificity in your examples. The use of specific and detailed examples will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.