IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #case #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many cases owning your own home could benefit your situation more than renting it temporarly. Having your own helps to deal with financial hardship and not to concern about fee. In my opinion renting a
house
Use synonyms
 has a lot of negative consequences than positive.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is obscene amount of families renting a flat in Kazakhstan. Renting an apartment could be really harmful for your purchase and if you don't have enough money, you will live in a tenement that has no mod-cons and you'll probably seem as someone who is poor.
For example
Linking Words
: it's customary to have a big detached
house
Use synonyms
 in our mentalitet. So if you you are renting a flat you are not good enough. Another drawback is that you can't rent a
house
Use synonyms
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
. It would be really uncomfortable to move more than once.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will damage your furniture.
In addition
Linking Words
, finding a leisure accommodation is
also
Linking Words
 one of the most difficult part of moving person.
For example
Linking Words
: the town where I live it's really hard to discover empty
house
Use synonyms
. It takes a long
time
Use synonyms
 to find it. Frankly, the advantage is that you will be completely careless. People who have casual work or people that have been moving in interval of
time
Use synonyms
 could benefit
this
Linking Words
 opportunity. As an example: students are renting a room nearby their university. It's not just an opportunity it's a great
time
Use synonyms
 management. In conclusion, renting a
house
Use synonyms
 could be a really disaster for the cash.
Submitted by Kanapiaulydoshan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in task response, ensure that you directly address all parts of the task. You should clearly explain why owning a home is important in some countries and discuss the positive or negative aspects of this trend in detail. Expanding your explanation with more comprehensive arguments and examples will make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your essay in a more logical manner. Start with an introduction that clearly states your opinion and what the essay will cover. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting details and examples. Use a variety of transition words to improve the flow of your essay. Additionally, ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: