IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, a
person
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's worth seems to be judged
according to
Linking Words
 their status and material possessions. Most
of
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apply
show examples
people
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 do not pay attention
for
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to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old-fashioned values,
such
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 as
trust
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, kindness etc. In my opinion, most
of
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apply
show examples
people
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maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 really
are
Wrong verb form
be
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 in search of friends who have
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money to make profits from them.
Also
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, it is really important to have good treats
of
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for
show examples
 your character for sure. In my
mind
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, it is hard to live in the society
in
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of
show examples
 our time because you literally can not
trust
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 anyone. First of all, it always was a truth that any
person
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 can betray you to get any benefit that
this
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person
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 needs. A
big
Correct word choice
large
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 quantity of
people
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 are ready to betray each other to gain more money or get new information. Most of the huge companies work with
this
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 method, highly educated and rich
people
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 will not
trust
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 anyone
while
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 they have an enormous company and
large
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a large
show examples
 amount of money. There are so many scammers and bad guys who will hunt for these
people
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 and search
some
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for some
show examples
 weaknesses to break them.
For instance
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, recently I saw one businessman who said that he would not
trust
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 anyone
while
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 he had one of the biggest arbitrage companies in Ukraine.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 should have good
treats
Correct your spelling
traits
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 of character, especially, for their reputation. In my
mind
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, it is the most important thing that
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person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can ever have.
Also
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, they can make more friends. In my
mind
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,
people
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 often feel what a
person
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 is like from the inside.
Likewise
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, the best
treats
Correct your spelling
traits
show examples
 of character are that
people
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could have been
Wrong verb form
can be
show examples
 reliable,
honest
Correct word choice
and honest
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
person
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 must be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 man of his word.
To sum up
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, it is
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
 to
trust
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 somebody so
people
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 need to be careful
while
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 telling some important information to others. In my
mind
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, you can
trust
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 only your relatives.

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Introduction
Focus on developing a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question. A strong thesis statement that outlines your main points would make your argument more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively between and within paragraphs. This could include sequencing phrases like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', as well as contrastive phrases like 'However', 'On the other hand'.
Task achievement
Enhance your task response by providing more specific examples drawn from your own experience or general knowledge. This adds depth to your arguments and shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
General advice
Avoid general statements that might dilute your argument. Aim for precision in your language and more depth in your analysis of the topic.
Language
Work on grammar and punctuation to improve clarity and professionalism of writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
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